An Oath In Blood (Book #3)

Chapter 42: Repentance

CORVINA HAWKE

Ahvi made sure that we are settled comfortably before leaving the room to get back to her guests downstairs. I wondered if she had any idea that her life was going to change today as I stared after her retreating form. When I pulled my attention away from Ahvi, I found Eman looking at me with a frown on her face. She shifted on the bed to make herself comfortable, her back against the headboard. I sat across from her, my legs dangling off the edge of the bed.

“What?” I asked her when her frown didn’t budge after long moments.

“Why did you want to kill Warren?” I was taken aback by her question, the indifference with which it was delivered and the lack of realization on her end to the heaviness that truly lied behind her words.

“Excuse me?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. A sudden wave of discomfort washed over me that I had never felt in Eman’s presence before—not that we had interacted many times since I had met her.

“You look at him like he is the only safe place for you in this whole world. I know because that’s how I look at my husband,” she replied, oblivious to the way my insides squirmed at her inquiry. “Then why did you try to kill him? And why did you decide to spare him?” She tilted her to the side a little, regarding me carefully as if trying to read me.

“I was doing my job,” I murmured, looking away from her probing gaze. Did she even realize how unnerved she had managed to make me?

“Then why did you not finish what you started?” She raised one softly arched eyebrow at me, brown eyes seeking mine out again.

“Because…” I trailed off, the words sitting on the tip of my tongue. Because I feel for him, in a way that I have never felt anything before. But I couldn’t say them, as if something was pushing them back into my throat.

“Because?” Eman prompted, leaning forward slightly, voice alight with interest.

“I couldn’t go through with it.” I sighed, shaking my head. I was disappointed in myself. How could I feel such monumental feelings for someone but couldn’t show them? “Becau–because of him being that thing you said he was right now,” I stammered. This was the closest I would get to express my feelings for Warren to Eman.

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Eman clapped her hands together once, her fingers interlacing together as she watched me with a wistful smile on her face.

“Too bad nothing can ever happen between us,” I said softly, glancing down at my lap. I didn’t want her to see the disappointment on my face. Life didn’t work out sometimes. And for people like me, it never worked out.

“What? Why do you say that?” Eman sounded almost offended by my statement. I let out a soft chuckle as I shot her a brief glance. Indeed, she looked like I had insulted everything she stood for and more.

“Come on, Eman. I am a criminal,” I responded matter-of-factly. “Warren has a place in this world. He has made a name for himself. He is a part of an empire that wasn’t built on blood. He is honest and refined and benevolent, and he deserves someone who can stand by his side shoulder-to-shoulder, carrying all those qualities that he does. He deserves someone who isn’t wanted by the cops, someone who hasn’t built her entire career, her entire identity, her entire life by ending others. I am no match for him.” My lips wobbled slightly as I forced a sad smile to my lips.

Eman stared at me for a moment but I didn’t look at her. I was scared of what she would find on my face if I did. Her gaze burned the side of my face and suddenly, I wished Lily hadn’t put my hair up, so I could use it as a shield to hide myself from her searching gaze.