December 30 2020
The hospital was quieter than usual, the lull between morning rounds and the rush of consults. AJ stood in the residents' lounge, cradling a lukewarm cup of coffee she hadn't touched. Her eyes were fixed on the window, but her thoughts were far from the skyline.
Camilla slipped in, dropping her chart onto the table. She studied AJ for a beat, reading her too easily.
Camilla -You look like someone who hasn't stopped replaying yesterday in your head
Camilla said casually, pouring herself coffee.
AJ didn't deny it. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
AJ - Because I haven't.
Camilla leaned against the counter, mug in hand.
Camilla - You shouldn't be losing sleep over him. He's lucky he still has a badge to swipe in this building.
AJ - I know
AJ said quietly. She hesitated, then admitted
AJ - It wasn't just the kiss. It was the look on his face, Cam. He looked... broken. Desperate. And I can't get it out of my head.
Camilla's eyes narrowed. She set her mug down with a sharp *clink.*
Camilla - Oh, no. Don't start.
AJ turned, defensive.
AJ - I'm not excusing what he did—
Camilla - Good, because you can't
Camilla cut in firmly.
Camilla - AJ, you can feel sorry for him all you want, but don't you *dare* pity him. He's a grown man. He knew what he was doing. He chose to cross that line. And the minute you start pitying him? That's when the power shifts.
AJ bristled- I'm not saying I pity him—
Camilla- Yes, you are
Camilla said bluntly, stepping closer.
Camilla - I see it in your face. That little tug in your chest that makes you second-guess if he's really just some lovesick kid who didn't mean it. But you can't go there, AJ. Not with him. Not with anyone. You built this reputation—Medusa, remember? You freeze people in their tracks. That's how you keep control.
AJ let out a shaky breath, her fingers tightening around her mug.
Camilla softened, her voice lower now.
Camilla - You've got a husband who worships you. A son who calls you Mama. You've got everything he wants but can't have. That's why he's drowning. But that's not your problem to fix.
AJ's throat tightened.
AJ - I know you're right.
Camilla gave her a pointed look.
Camilla - I'm always right. Don't make me tattoo it on your arm.
Despite herself, AJ let out the smallest laugh.
Camilla smirked, but her eyes stayed serious.
Camilla - Don't pity him, AJ. The second you do, he wins a piece of you. And that's the one thing he can't have.
AJ nodded slowly, letting the words sink in. She didn't want to admit it, but Camilla was right. Gabriel's desperation wasn't her burden.
Still, deep down, she couldn't shake the image of his eyes after she'd thrown him out of her office.
Eyes that had looked like they'd just lost everything.
