Letters to Zayn

Chapter 2

It's been 5 days since the I wrote that letter. I still feel stupid about it and am still fighting whehter I should continue doing it or not. I mean, it's not like some psychiatrist told me to write all my feelings on a sheet of paper. What if it only gets worse? Gosh, I have so many rhethorical questions even when talking to myself. I often wonder if Zayn would still keep in touch with me if he knew what kind of mess I am. People can only be fixed that many times. I've been broken and I've been fixed. It seems that being best friends Zayn should know all about me, but he doesn't. I never wanted him to know how damaged my soul is, because he was always the one to put a smile on my face through the darkest hours. But if I am telling him all I feel, why can't I tell him about my past and what he's actually done for me without even knowing it. Time for my second confession.

Dear Zayn,

I don't think many people actually mean when they write ' dear' in the  beginning, but I do. I really do. And I know this may seem like a stupid thing to write, but I also know I am dear to you. The problem is I never understood why. I'm not a good person. At least that's what I think of myself. However, you've always helped me by making me doubt that.Remember how we used to sit in all the classes together? That was the best part of school.I'll never forget the coversations we would have instead of listening to the teachers.

******

" Do you ever talk to yourself?"- Zayn asked. That's so typical of him, asking such quesitons out of the blue.

" Of course I do, who doesn't?"

" Relly?" He seemed surprised.

"Yeah, don't you? I mean, it's usually while I'm at work, not surrounded by people." I said a bit ashamed.

"Well, I suppose I sometimes do that as well. I think this is why we know each other so well, cause We can ask each other the most random questions. You do agree that we know each other well, right?"

"Yeah, of course. And I agree."

"It is awesome to have such a connection with someone" Zayn finished the conversation with a smile on his face.

******

Those conversations always left me surprised. I never really understood how one could speak with such power in his words no matter how random the subjects were.. Maybe your brown eyes with huge eyelashes had something to do with it. Whatever you'd say, I always seemed to believe it. Which leaves me wonedring if what you used to say was ever true, or just the power of persuasion you had. I guess I'll never know. I feel kind of silly writing this all knowing that we'll have a skype conversation tomorrow. Can't wait to hear how everything with the band is going on. I may not say it enough, but I am so proud of all you've achieved. You know you inspire a lot of fans all around the world, but do you ever realize that you inspire your closest friends as well? I'm so looking forward to hear all the news!

Love you,

Rebecca.

Writing these letters it gets so easy forgetting the reality. Forgetting that he is not here with me, that I have to go work in  a subway, that every day I wake up wishing to see his face again and then remembering that he's not here with me. I wish life was easier than this. I wish I had someone to actually talk to. I wish I was stronger in all of this. Gosh, I wish for so many things and none of them will ever come true.  Why would they?

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Hello to my readers! Thank you for spending time reading my first story ever. I'm glad to already have over 10 of you, though I just started yesterday, so hopefully the number will continue to grow. I will write the 3rd part as soon as I get 15 readers on every part. I promise that in the next part there will be a longer dialogue as Rebecca and Zayn will have a conversation. Hope you liked it and don't forget to comment and vote as well!