Letters to Zayn

Chapter 8

Of course, I was right. I can already see the sillhouette of Stanley in front of me. Since the first time i saw him, it never brings any positive emotions to have him look at me or talk to me. Unfotunately, there was no way I could escape it. Not right now at least. Or maybe..

"Good morning, sleepy head" Stanley said interrupting my thoughts once again. The fact that a man who is holding me against my will just called me a sleepy head, as if he was my boyfriend or friend, made it sound really creepy.

" You know what, Stanley? I often wonder If I am really the one who should be closed up from society" For some unimaginable reason he laughed at my words. I guess he genuinely thought that this was a joke.

"I see you've already got your usual mood on. However, that is not what we want from you" with these word he got serious again.

"Then what do you want? It's been what, 3 days? I'm already tired of trying to figure it out. Why can't you just tell me? You think I am crazy right? Then tell me how to change that."

"I'm afraid I can't just tell you, that's not the way it works. But yes, we do think that you are crazy" And with that my question from the letter got answered. He really does think I am crazy. I remember being younger and trying to imagine how everything actually works in a crazy person's mind. Never in my life would I have thought someone would call me crazy. Like seriously crazy, not in a form of a joke. And here it is.

" Could you at least tell me why you are so sure I am so crazy? I can't get better if I don't know, now can I?" I asked straight away, not wasting my time with the small talk.

" First of, how did you meet Zayn? " Stanley asked surprising me.

"What does that have anything to do with my well being?

" A lot. Now could you just answer the question?" A smile appeared on his face as if he meant good for me. Of course that was not the case.

" I met him in school. We both went to the same school since grade 1. Shouldn't you have a file about me which states such facts?" I asked setting a rude tone as well as I could, rolling my eyes on top of it.

" Well, you see, the problem is that we do have a file about you, but you and Zayn have never even met." Doctor announced being the most serious him I've ever seen. I just bursted out laughing. This was the biggest nonsense I have heard in my life and I have heard a lot in just a few days.

"Haven't met him? You must really be crazy. It should be enough to check my phone or skype history to see that I know him, but you must be too dumb to do exactly that. " I responded to his crazy statement, still giggling.

" Wow, you really do find this amusing, don't you? I assume your condition is much worse than we thought. We did do a check of your skype and phone before we took action. If you want I could bring you all the documentation  next thing tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to visit you whenever I want and I haven't brought it to you as of right now."

" Oh, so you're not the boss here? Who ever is in charge could at least make sure that the food that comes from pressing a button actually tastes like something else than water. I can't even eat this shit. Do you want me to die here or something?" I asked him remembering that before I can escape this place I need to somehow survive.

"I'm sorry you think of it this way. I will talk to the cooks to make sure it changes. As for now I have to leave you to writing letters again. I really hope you get better soon, Becca, behind this shield you do seem like a lovely girl."With that he disappeared into the flash of light again. I couldn't help but get freaked out by his words. Every time he smiles or says something nice it just scares the hell out of me. What if he is some kind of a maniac? This could surely be his cover story and then he would kill me or something even worse.

I need to get out of here. It is a fact that has been in my head since day one. I can't waste any more time complaining, I must start acting. The first step is trying to convince Stanley that I am alright, I must play according to his rules. Once I do, I will find a way to get closer to him and take that console from him. I don't know how yet, but I must start from step one right now.

With these thoughts I grab a sheet of paper and think of how I should start the letter this time. Obviously, Stanley thinks that I don't know Zayn. I can't just write that I admit I don't, the freaky doctor would understand that I am just trying to escape. No matter how soon I want to escape, I must play according to the rules. And for now it means taking it all slow. I must show him that I at least doubt the reality.

Dear Zayn,

Doctor Stanley just visited me again.You have once told me that when you read or hear so much hate you start to believe all these awful words. You know what? Maybe I am crazy. I mean, why would a simple girl like me have a best friend in a form of a handsome guy, who is the sweetest in the world. Some people wouldn't even dare to dream that big and I dare to call it reality. What if it isn't actually it? But then again, how could I have all the memories with you, from our childhood, teenage years and all? How could my head fake it all?

I've never met a crazy person so I don't know how it all works. Well exept for Stanley of course, who I sometimes think is quite obviously crazy. Or maybe he is just trying to do his job. I wonder if I'll ever find out.

I miss you so bad. I miss hearing your voice, I miss being able to hug you and seeing you smile. I miss you making me laugh. Yet I still haven't told you that you've been the light of my life through all my darkness.

But what if I am insane and you don't even exist? Well, as in my life. I don't think my mind would actually be so powerful to be able and fake all the things there are about you in the media. No way. But if you are not in my life, then how come so many things remind me of you? That just doesn't make sense. And at the same time it does. Why would someone like me deserve someone like you.

Still love you loads,

Rebecca xxx

I hope this is convincing enough for Stanley. This could and should be my first step towards freedom. I never dreamed of becoming a writer and never considered myself to be a good liar, but I have to admit it, I could actually almost believe my own lies I just wrote. And the truth will set you free. Isn't that what they say? Well, not in my case. Now I just have to wait for tomorrow and to pretend being shocked at his fake documentation of non existance of Zayn in my life.

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Once again thanks a lot to all my readers! As this one is once again a bit longer part( sorry that the last one was so short) I will wait for 100 reads on this one to start writing the next one. Hope you like it!