Ship: Matthew Espinosa x Shawn Mendes
Shawn helps Matt write a love song, but Matt has a hard time talking about his crush.
- - -
Shawn pulled up to the studio and saw Matt already waiting outside. He locked his car and jogged over.
"Hey, Matt, how's it going?" Shawn smiled and pulled him into a hug.
"Hey, man, thanks for agreeing to help me," Matt said as they let go.
"No problem. I love song writing and I've never written with my friends before, so this'll be fun. C'mon I'll show you around."
Shawn led Matt into the recording studio and pointed out cool things like plaques on the walls of famous artists that had recorded there. They went through to the studio and took seats by the sound board overlooking the glass pane separating them from the mic on the other side. It was a late Sunday afternoon, so they had the place to themselves.
"So, you want to write a song?" Shawn said.
"Yeah. A love song," Matt blushed. "I want to get better at song writing. I tried at home, but everything I wrote sounded shit."
"I've written loads of shit stuff," Shawn nodded, "but if you keep at it, you'll get something good down eventually. Writing with someone else helps too."
He pulled out a notepad and two pens from his backpack. He ripped out a piece of paper and gave it to Matt with a pen. Matt looked nervous as he took them.
"Do you want to write it about or for anyone in particular?" Shawn asked. "Or just general."
"Er, just general," Matt said, staring down at his blank piece of paper. Shawn found it weird how he was acting uncharacteristically shy.
"OK, well, it often helps to think of someone or a situation you want to talk about."
"Like a crush?"
"Yeah, that's perfect. Think of someone you have a crush on. It doesn't matter who. Have someone in mind?"
"Yeah," Matt blushed again. Shawn had never seen him like this, but he liked seeing another side to him.
"Cool. How do they make you feel?"
Matt looked startled for a second. "Oh, um, really good, I guess."
Shawn raised an eyebrow. "You might need a bit more than that for a song. A good song really shows how you feel. Don't be afraid to open up in front of me. We're friends, right?"
"Right," Matt nodded. "Um, they make me feel amazing. I get this feeling in my stomach whenever I think about them and when I see then I feel light and happy, like nothing can go wrong when I'm around them. I just want to be with them all the time and hold them and know that they're mine. And know that they like me back..."
"That's great," Shawn smiled as he wrote down what Matt had said. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"I guess not," Matt said, his cheeks still flush. Shawn wished someone spoke about him like that. Hearing Matt talk like that was kind of cute.
"How does it feel that this person doesn't like you back?" Shawn asked.
"Um, I don't know if they don't, but I'm almost certain they don't and it's shit, to be honest. Knowing I'll never get to be with them makes me feel like I'm falling through a black hole that never ends. I have to think about something else because it makes me too depressed to think of them not being with me, or, even worse, them being with someone else. But they're so amazing I can't stop thinking about them and it's a horrible cycle."
Matt looked really upset and Shawn felt guilty for asking him. "Wow, sounds like quite a crush."
Matt ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that got a bit too real. I need some air."
Matt quickly got up and left the room. Shawn called after him, but he didn't stop. Shawn tapped his pen on the notepad. Seeing Matt so vulnerable was saddening, but Shawn liked seeing him a different way. Shawn was never that vulnerable with other guy friends, but seeing Matt like that stirred something in him. He was starting to see him differently, but he wasn't quite sure what that 'differently' was yet.
He got up and followed Matt. He found him outside, still looking upset. It was getting dark and he stood under a street light with his head down. Shawn went over, wondering how not to make it awkward, so Matt didn't feel even worse.
"Matt, I'm sorry," Shawn said when he reached him. "If I'd known how you felt about this crush I never would've asked."
Matt shook his head. "It's OK. This was my idea. I was the one who wanted to write a stupid love song."
Matt looked like he was going to cry, so Shawn pulled him into a tight hug. It felt right. Matt hugged him back, then abruptly back away.
"I can't do this," he said.
"I'm sorry," Shawn said, blushing. "Was that too forward? I just thought you might need a hug that's all."
"No, it wasn't too forward," Matt said, looking down at the ground.
"Oh, OK... You seem really torn up about this girl. You're an amazing guy, Matt. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I'm sure she'd say yes if you asked her on a date."
"I don't think they would."
"Why not? If she's making you feel this way, what do have to lose?"
"A friendship."
"Oh. If you're already friends with her, then she's bound to say yes."
"Stop saying 'she'," Matt burst out, making Shawn jump. "I have a crush on a-on a guy. That's why I can't say anything."
Shawn froze. "A guy?" He shrugged. "Any guy would be lucky to have you too."
"It doesn't bother you?" Matt asked curiously.
"Not at all. Tell him. Who is he? I must know him if he's a friend." Shawn suddenly found himself hoping Matt would say only one person. He felt his heart beater faster as he waited for Matt's answer.
"It's..." Matt said quietly. "It's you, Shawn. I have to go."
Shawn's stomach flipped and he grabbed Matt's arm. "Matt, don't go."
"I shouldn't have said that." Matt looked ready to cry. "I just wanted to be close to you without anyone else around and thought writing a love song would be perfect, but talking about you to you was too hard. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. I think...I think I like you too."
Matt jerked his head around. "What?"
"Seeing you so vulnerable in there made me see you differently and I found myself hoping you'd say your crush was me. And now I'm so glad you did."
Matt grinned and the boys hugged each other again. Shawn felt himself melt against the older boy. He was amazed how one writing session had opened a whole new world for him.
"This would make a great love song," Matt smiled.
"Let's go back and write about each other's crushes," Shawn giggled and they held hands as they walked back into the studio.
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Viner BoyxBoy Cute & Smut Imagines
FanfictionCute and smut imagines featuring vine boys.