Emergent: A Divergent Fanfic

Caleb

            I want to forgive myself for what I've done when I know I can't. I want to tell Tris how sorry I am for what I did; how I fed her to Jeanine, to death. I want to tell my mother how sorry I am for letting her down; for not keeping a promise I once made to be strong and look after Tris. I want to tell my father I'm sorry for hiding my Eruditeness from him; for not confronting him about it and making up white lies. I want to tell Tobias how sorry I am for taking Tris from him; from almost letting his girlfriend die. I have done so much wrong, caused so much agony. The life I have made for myself has put a tremendous weight on my shoulders, weight I fear I cannot stand anymore. I need a new start, a fresh start.In another world, another time, another dimension, anywhere, anywhere, anywhere but here with no family or friends left. That is why I decided, while we crafted our plan, to go while nobody else was aware. I listened patiently in the corner, my gaze low and my arms crossed over my chest, nodding my head every once in awhile to make it seem like there was nothing to suspect. I averted my eyes, for a second, just to look at the clock. Fifteen minutes. Just barely enough time, it had to be enough time. I caught Tobias's eye. Warm blue,a deep dark with a familiarity in it I couldn't quite place my finger on;before I discovered that "Four" was really "Eaton". Marcus Eaton. Tobias Eaton.For a second, his eyes look menacing, threatening. But then they turn quizzical,suddenly aware. I quickly look back down, feeling his eyes burn into my skin,making me feel awkward and naked. So this is how the Candor initiates must feel. I have never taken the truth serum before, but watching Tris & Tobias do so made my skin crawl. I stand up straight from my slouch against the wall.It is abrupt, and everyone pauses to look at me.

             "I-I need to use the restroom." I stutter, feeling Tris's icy blue eyes on my quivering hands. I tug at the collar of my shirt, & look Tris straight in the eye. It will be the last time ever, the final brother-sister moment; and because of my mistakes, it will be spent with one unable to forgive another, probably for as long as she lives. Christina shakes her head, and points to the clock. 

            "You got three minutes. Go & get back here before that." As I walk out the door, I hear her mutter something about "cocky Erudites". I walk quickly down the corridor,quietly as I can. I reach the end, and I realize that I forgot the backpack. I need to go back and get it, somehow, otherwise I won't be able to succeed.It'll be another failure for me, another fiasco nobody will forget. I turn halfway around when I hear a shout, and I know I am dead. This is the end.