One shots || fem reader

She's got a way... away? || Natalie Scatorccio

Note: idk I wrote that last night at midnight something's wrong with me definitely
Warnings: angst, yj typical, cannibalism, violence, abusive parents, deaths, mentions of suicide
English is still not my first langage, there might still be some mistakes :(

The wilderness had been a break in your chaotic life. At first at least. It was a weird thing to say, even to think, because people died in the crash, but for once you felt free.

Your home situation was less than ideal, drunk dad, violent, passive mom... all that in a shitty trailer. No wonder you and Nat got close, you had so much in common.

You'd meet when you both were kids, when both your situations weren't as bad as it would get. You met Van a bit later too, and all three of you went through it together.

Van started dating Taissa around the same time as you started dating Nat. You trusted each other enough to share this, but never told anyone else. You never know what they might think.

You knew what your dad thought about it. What Nat's dad would think, if he was still there. Which thank god wasn't the case. He really had a talent for ruining Nat's life, even being dead. She'd feel guilty for so long, even if it's not her fault at all.

You'd comfort her, as much as possible without being outed. You hoped she believed you when you told her it's not her fault. She didn't deserve to have her life ruined because of him.

You knew she still had nightmares. They followed her in the wilderness. But at least you could be there. Really be there, without being afraid of anyone seeing you. That made the first weeks better, the freedom. No alcohol, no violence... at first  at least.

After Jackie's death, it wasn't the same. It was miserable, cold, hungry. Yet you still preferred being here to your home.

Then you ate your friend. And you felt terrible about it. You cried a lot. More than Shauna, which was kind of surprising, she was Jackie's best friend. Nat brought her remains back to the plane. You would've done it with her, but the thought of Jackie, your friend Jackie in that bag... you couldn't handle it.

After that it all went absolutely nuts. Hunts, more cannibalism... And then those scientists. Rescue. Everyone had gone insane, you *had* to go home. No matter how shitty it was back there, everything here had gone too far. Shauna had gone too far, with her cruel dictatorship.

Thanks to Van, Misty and Natalie, rescue managed to be contacted, but not without another loss.

And finally you were on that plane back home. You prayed it wouldn't crash, you all did - almost.

When you set foot at the airport, journalists were everywhere. It was overwhelming. The reality of what you'd done out there came crashing to you. If anyone knew you'd all be so so fucked. But none of you would talk, right? You were all in the same situation.

Unsurprisingly your dad wasn't at the airport. You doubted he even cared you were gone for a year and a half. Your mom thought... you hoped she would be there. She wasn't.
Still, you came back to that trailer park with Natalie.

She'd kiss you, checking you were really there, really out of the wilderness. Relieved when you kissed back. When you held her face and told her you loved her. When you'd already made plans to make up for the lost time.

She had her life back, and you. What more could she ask for?

She kissed you again, suggested you'd spend the night with her. You wanted to, but you needed to check on your mom. So you'd promise to spend the thousand next nights with her. Cheesy. She'd learn to love it, as much as that damn smile of yours she hadn't seen in so long. You had a way of making her feel all warm inside.

She'd keep you in her arms for a last kiss, before letting you go.

And oh. How she wished she didn't.

If only she knew it would be the last time she'd get to kiss you. To hold you. If she knew that the next day, police cars would be all around your trailer. That they'd get you out of there in a bag.

She'd see you briefly at the funerals, in the coffin. They had given you a semblance of life with makeup, but it wasn't comparable to when you were alive. She could see the wound. It made her insides twist.

She'd go home that day, snorted some drug that still was in her hiding place. Too much. She'd try to join you more than once. It never worked. Sometimes she'd think it's you looking out for her. She hated it. She wanted to be with you, wherever that might be. Apologize, for not being able to protect you. Because it was her fault wasn't it?

She'd feel guilty for the rest of her life, think she could've saved you. She'd curse every god, everyone, life itself for being so unfair to you. To allow you to survive the wilderness but not your shitty dad the very day you got back.

Even 25 years later, when her turn finally came and she saw you in that damn plane, she couldn't not say sorry. Sorry to not have insisted. Sorry to not having saved you. Sorry for making you wait so long.

You'd just smile, oh that smile, and tell her it's okay, like you always did.