My Saving Grace

December 16, 2013

Alex's P.O.V.

Two months passed and it was now December. I watched Scott change for quite a while now. He seemed happier to say the least. He had started on new anti depressants which he took a smaller dose of. The therapist, Lisa, was really nice. I had met her a couple of times and she just had an outlook on life that I couldn't explain!

She had asked Scott to do something that would help him to concentrate. That would give him motivation. So in October Mitch and him started a YouTube channel. Superfruit. I watch it every week because I see the happy side of Scott. And it's genuine happiness as well. He seems to love doing it.

I got to see his smile and hear his laugh a lot more often that usual. I still saw the sad, anxious, depressed side of him now and again but he was showing it. He was letting out the emotions when necessary. He wasn't keeping it bottled in until he exploded. He would talk. Talk to me. Talk to Mitch. Talk to anyone he trusted really.

We were at the start of a very long journey but you can't stand at the top of a mountain without doing the climb first.

I watched from the doorway as Scott looked at himself in the mirror. He obviously hadn't realised that I was there. He had his eyes trained in his reflection. It was probably something that Lisa had told him to do. I had learned not to ask him about therapy. That was between him and Lisa and no one else's business, not even mine.

I watched as he pulled his sleeves down over his hands and swung his arms by his side. His wrists were covered in black pen, swirls and designs. An alternative to cutting. His face was pale. He looked drained. He was having one of his bad days. He closed his eyes and took deep even breaths. Breathing in to fill his lungs and then letting it all out at once.

I cautiously walked forward, careful not to disturb him and stood behind him. I slowly reached around his body and place my hands on his waist. His eyes flew open, startled but he smiled when he saw that it was me. "Hi..." He breathed. My lips slowly moved to his neck to pepper soft kisses from his ear to his collar bone.

"Hey. How are you?" I whispered, lifting my head from his neck and looking at him through the mirror. I rested my chin on his shoulder and watched as his eyes followed my every move.

"Better than earlier. Organised." Scott explained. Organised was the word we used to describe if his thoughts were silent and together. If they were screaming and shouting at him they were unorganised. It was the only way to get him to stop calling himself crazy!

Scott breathed in sharply when I reattached my lips to his neck. His eyes fluttered closed. I felt a sudden feeling overcome me. I slowly began to move my hands under the hem of his shirt. Running my fingers up and down his sides, he shivered. My fingers moved against his skin, softly, creating goosebumps.

He shivered again, this time turning around. I was caught off guard and stepped back but he quickly found my lips. His hand snaking round to the back of my neck, pulling me in deeper. He gently ran his tongue along my bottom lip.

Opening my mouth, I let his tongue enter. I felt his hand travel down my neck and to the hem of my shirt, softly tugging on it. At that I stopped, pulling away. "Are you sure about this?" I asked, resting my forehead against his. I could feel my chest heaving, our breaths filling the air.

Scott bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving mine. "Yeah, I mean we're alone but if you don't want to-" he began nervously.

"No, no. I want to. I really want to. But I didn't know what you wanted...." I said, trailing off. That was when his gaze shifted from my own. He looked down at his, shuffling awkwardly.

"It's just... I'm not beautiful like you are..." He whispered, his voice cracking.

"Scott?" I lifted his chin with my finger. His eyes wandered everywhere but my eyes. "Scott, look at me." His eyes found mine and I made sure to keep in his gaze. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out. I love you. I want you. I need you. More than I've ever needed anyone before. Ever! I just want you to be one hundred per cent comfortable with this. I don't care if you stop half way through or if you want to not do anything at all. I want to know that you are one hundred per cent okay..."

He slowly nodded his head in understanding. I connected our lips again, holding his face between my two hands. I felt him kiss me with more urgency this time. It was almost as if he wanted to convince me that he wanted this too. But I knew he did. "We can stop at any time, okay?" I whispered against his lips.

"I know. But I don't want to." He whispered. He pressed his lips against mine as I chuckled.

"You're amazing!" I said. I began to lift his shirt over his head, connecting my lips to his neck again.

"Alex..." He breathed, walking us backwards until my legs came in contact with the bed. I broke away, letting him remove my shirt. I slowly lowered myself back onto the bed, bring Scott on top of me.

He placed his hands down on the bed on either side of my head, holding up his body weight. We stopped for a moment, taking in each other's features. His blue eyes sparkled brightly.

"You look great from this angle." Scott whispered, bending down to peck my lips.

"So do you." I answered.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too."

A/N
I couldn't write the smut. I just can't do that! 😂
Hope you guys enjoyed 😊
Love y'all!