You & I [Kier/Shane]

Chapter Forty-Six - Kier

Kier's POV

"Kier, your break was over ten minutes ago!" I heard my manager exclaim as I wandered back into the building, humming slightly in acknowledgement of his cry before preparing for the next shoot. In all honesty, I felt nothing towards this catalogue, or my career in general right now; I just wanted to go home to bed. I saw no point in anything regarding my job, or my relationships, or my future... I just wanted it all to go away, for good. Without Shane, my existence was of no use to anyone.

The day dragged by slowly, my eyes were sore and strained by the time the job was over and my positivity hung low in defeat; my managers demands doubled my the harsh comments of the photographer overpowered me, leaving me crushed with nothing but my own self-hatred to keep me company for the rest of the evening. Heading into a local takeout I ordered some overly greased chips for dinner, being resorted to comfort eat and protest against my manager; I couldn't give two fucks about my figure right now. Entering my home, I slammed the door behind me, wishing for more than anything to be welcomed by Shane's loving smile and tight hugs right now. We'd sit on my soft white sofa, trapped in each others tight hold while I rant for too long about how terrible my day was, before he'd kiss my cheek and tell me not to ponder on it for too long, that things will be fine and tomorrow is a new day. Instead, I was greeted with a unwelcoming silence, threatening to swallow me whole and drag me deeper down into the darkness until I couldn't see my optimism anymore.

I took my usual seat at my desk, turning on the computer while opening the white paper bag of chips and grabbed a few, shoving them quickly into my mouth, chewing as I typed in my password. While waiting for the slow device to load I stood and treaded over to the small fridge in the corner of the, admittedly messy room, grabbed a bottle of cheap beer before returning and eating more. All the curtains in my flat were closed, allowing no sunlight to enter and leaving the place as dark as it was in Shane's room, because I knew that's what his room currently looked like. It comforted me, knowing that my current life was something similar to his, that we still shared something nowadays.

Shoving more chips into my mouth I scrolled down various social media sites, taking a swig of my drink on occasion if something especially stupid came up, until I heard a recognizable ping which cause my grip to lessen, dropping my food back onto the paper. My 'Skype' notification chimed through the room, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as hardly anyone knew of my account until I read the alert;

Woolsifer sent you a message.

A little over a month ago, before the breakup, Shane had insisted I added Drew on Skype, rambling in excitement about us all spending more time together and him and I enjoying each others company and becoming friends; it never happened. We've not spoken on it once.

Woolsifer: We need to talk about Shane.

Gulping slightly, I took another large swig of my drink before my hands hovered over the keyboard and began to type a quick response, pressing 'enter' seconds later.

Kier: I haven't spoken to him. I'm back in New York.

I instantly protected myself from any harsh accusations the man was going to throw at me; It was over between us now, he had no reason to suddenly jump back into my life speaking of him again.

Woolsifer: I know you haven't. This is about him, not you.

I send a simple '?' in response, not understanding his reply enough to send a well thought out sentence. I still couldn't comprehend why he believed sending me updates on my ex-boyfriend was a clever thing to do, but I couldn't deny that hearing of him didn't make my heart flutter and my surroundings a little brighter.