You & I [Kier/Shane]

Chapter Twenty-one - Shane

Shane’s POV

It was a little embarrassing, I know that. I can’t help the fact that I can be absolutely pathetic when it comes socialising with people. Kier especially; it just happens. What I wanted to say was that I was so glad he was here with me in that exact moment, because I had a huge amount of admiration for the man and that I wouldn’t mind a little sympathetic kiss and a cuddle. Not that I was glad he’d returned to comfort me while I cried over having an argument with my best friend since we were both children; that was just a complete mood killer.

“Are you feeling any better now?” I heard Kier’s calming voice sound from beside my ear, and I merely nodded in response, sighing softly while hiding myself in his chest. My cheeks were a bright red at the affect the man had on me, the simple sound of his voice awakening butterflies and my brain to become fuzzy and confused. “I’m glad I’m helping,” He continued in the same gentle tone. “Even just a little.”

“Y-You are,” I whispered in response, removing myself from his chest to sit up and wipe my wet cheeks to rid of the tears that was left there. “Y-You’re the only p-person I c-can speak t-to r-right now.” I added, causing my cheeks to heat up even more; I had no idea why I thought that was a good thing to say out loud.

Kier didn’t appear to think anything of it though, nodding gently as he sat himself up with me and watched as I wiped my eyes and ran my hands through my hair to brush it. “I’m glad.” He mumbled, giving me a generous smile. “You need someone like that to talk to.”
“W-What d-do you mean?” I asked before he even had a chance to explain himself for the unusual comment; did he think I was someone who needed that kind of extra treatment? Did I really seem that ‘fucked up’ to him?

“N-Not like that,” Kier quickly corrected himself, eyes wide and hands flailing while he sat himself even straighter in his place on my bed. “Just that you seem upset sometimes… you know…”
“Not r-really.” I cut him off, my arms folded against my chest in a protective manner.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair while appearing to be choosing his next words wisely. “You look like something is troubling you; your smile drops quickly, especially when you think that Drew isn’t looking at you. It takes you a while to get up, and Drew is always so protective over you. I can’t help but assume you need someone who you trust to talk about things on your mind.” He answered me carefully, as if he expected me to rudely cut him off with harsh words.

I could only nod in response, knowing that everything Kier was saying was the truth; I always tried to look happy when Drew was around, knowing that I’d only make my friend worry more if I frowned or stayed silent, or even stuttered in his presence.

“H-He’s done s-so much for me…” I mumbled, eyes cast down at the floor while my fringe blocked any sight of my eyes. “I-I don’t w-want to w-worry him anymore t-than I already h-have.”

Kier nodded and pierced his lips together, falling silent for a moment and I followed suit, allowing him to process whatever he was thinking of.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked, breaking the small quiet period we shared.

I merely nodded in response, curling my long sleeves over my knuckles.

“Why does he worry about you so much?”

I sighed, knowing it was a too long story for me to care of retelling. “W-We’ve known e-each other for y-years.” I stuttered out, hoping that would sum it up for him. “D-Don’t you w-worry about L-Laurence?”

“Well, yeah,” He replied, still sounding confused. “But he’s practically bordering overprotective, and it’s kind of unnecessary.”

I nodded, licking over the drying surface of my lips as I tried to find a suitable response.

“I-It’s a long story… W-We’ve been t-through a-a load of s-shit.” I settled for, silently cursing my stutter; I was getting frustrated with my lack of confident speech which caused me to pull at my sleeves.

“Like what?” Kier asked, pressing the issue further. I gave him a glance, receiving an automatic ‘sorry’ in response but I released a sigh. Could I trust him? Would he call me stupid or pathetic like previous friends and family in the past? Or would he care? That was unlikely, I was classed as a mess, a human embodiment of issues, but there was something about Kier that just made me want to sit down beside him and tell him my entire autobiography, knowing he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally cause me harm.

“I-I h-have a-a… a f-few problems…” I stuttered out, my speech disfluency worse than usual. Kier’s hands slid over to cup both of one of mine, his thumbs running along the surface of my skin. “I-I don’t l-like g-going o-out there...” I added, a little more confident than previously; he’d managed to find a way to comfort me.

“Where, Shane?” He asked, continuing his gentle, calming actions.

“O-Out t-there,” I repeated, adding a little emphasis on ‘there’. “O-Outside… I-I don’t l-like going o-outside, o-out the house.”

“What?” Kier mumbled and I looked up through my fringe to see him stare at me in confusion. “Why not?”
I sighed loudly, knowing he’d find it weird. I was pathetic and now he finally knew it. “I-I’m scared o-of w-what’s outside… t-the p-people, t-the noise... I-I have a-agoraphobia, okay?” I whined, ripping my hand from both of his and covered my face in distress. “T-That’s why I d-didn’t want t-to go t-to the gig with y-you, o-or why I-I couldn’t meet y-you at the a-airport.”

“Shane…” Kier mumbled and I heard the sympathy laced between that single word, causing my whimpers to grow louder and for me to shake my head; although, I doubt he would have saw it.

“N-No… I-It’s stupid…” I stuttered, panic growing that he’d find me stupid; I didn’t want to hear his rejection. Two arms wound around my waist and I tried to push them away, only to have Kier mumble a small ‘stop’. When I did I was pulled into his side and felt him press a kiss to the top of my messy haired head.

“It’s not stupid,” Kier replied, causing my form to freeze in confusion; to me it was. “I’m so glad you told me, now I can help.”
“H-How will you d-do that?” I mumbled voice slightly croaky as I sadly moved my face from my hands. “I-I’m a l-lost cause.”

“No such thing.” He whispered, holding me close and I timidly leant against him, silently loving the feeling of his body against my own. “I’ll help you move on from this, no matter how long it takes; you mean a lot to me, Shane, and I don’t want you to suffer alone.”

And in that moment, I swear my simple crush became something much, much more.