You & I [Kier/Shane]

Chapter Five - Shane

Shane's POV

For the next few days I kept myself occupied in my room, playing my guitar and drawing. Drew worked from 3pm - 9pm Mondays to Fridays which meant I had to keep myself busy. Those times were the hardest, I never knew what to do with myself and during those times when I was alone, the static was louder. No matter where I went the rooms seemed to close in on me, choking me, and no matter where I ran the memories always seemed to follow. 

This afternoon was no different. A little while earlier Drew had left for work, kissing my forehead and ruffling my hair before he left, promising to pick up some white chocolate chip cookies for me on his way home. I’d smile for him, nodding and promising not to do anything I might regret - not entirely sure what that entailed - and allowing the smile to fall once my bedroom door closed behind him. I knew I was selfish, I knew it was wrong of me to never want him to leave my side; I couldn’t help it though. My mind shut off when he was around, I never thought of a single negative thought when he was in the same room as me; I needed him. 

I was sat at my desk, my sketchpad open in front of me while I mindlessly doodled, trying to stop the intense fear I felt. My curtains were closed, regardless of whether it was still light out or not, and the only light came from a small lamp beside my pad; setting a calming yet eerie atmosphere around the room. I was losing myself in my drawing, actually smiling slightly at it before a loud knock sounded at my room, causing me to jump and the pencil to jolt across the page; a thick led mark now right through my image. I grumbled as I looked down at it - it was ruined - before the knock sounded once more. Looking at my clock I noticed the time; 5:37pm. Drew wouldn’t be home yet. 

“W-Who is it?” I called out timidly, hugging myself slightly; no one ever comes to talk to me at this time. Not unless Drew was home.

“It’s Kier,” His voice called through the wood and I gulped, covering my hands with my sleeves. “Can I come in?” 

I could just say no, that I was busy or was getting changed, but I didn’t want to be mean. He was being so nice to me. Staring down at my hand I smiled at the healing cut on my forefinger and blushed. “Y-Yeah..” I called back, flicking my fringe in front of my face as I heard the door open. 

“Hey Shane!” Kier’s enthusiastic voice called as I watched him through my thick hair. I waved gently, playing with a lose thread on my sleeve. 

Kier walked in and jumped onto my bed, sitting happily while he looked around my room. To be honest, it made me uncomfortable, no one came in here other than Drew, and now he’s been in here twice. He hasn’t even been here for long, what was he playing at? Was it so difficult to understand I don’t mix with others? 

“Nice place,” The scarlet haired man commented, looking around my walls. “You draw all these?” He questioned gently, turning to look at me. I merely nodded in response, not finding the words. “They’re really good; You’re really talented, Shane.” I wanted to complain, tell him that I was in the middle of one of my ‘really good’ drawings before he rudely interrupted, but I was too hung up on the way my name rolled off his tongue. 

“T-Thank.. Y-You..” I managed to stutter out, blushing deeply as I stared down at my hands.

“It’s no problem!” I heard him say, looking back over at him as he stood. Trying to ignore my sinking heart as I thought he was going to leave, I was pleasantly surprised when he went to admire the many gig tickets and drawings I have around my bedroom walls. 

I watched him for a while, unsure what to do, and admired his physique. There was no mistaking that the man in my room worked in front of a camera; he was slim, but I could see his shirts hugging his muscular figure. His hair was perfected to the last strand and all of his clothes seemed to only be from the top brands; nothing like ‘Primark’ where I buy all mine from… well, Drew buys them for me. 

“You’ve got some really cool stuff on here.” I heard him comment, snapping me from his perfect form. 

“O-Oh..” I mumbled out surprised. I felt so stupid, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else. 

“These tickets are so old though; 2005?” He exclaimed, turning back to me. “Where’s all the latest? Don’t you know the amazing bands that are on tour right now?” 

I shook my head, my blush deepening. “I-I d-don’t go t-to g-gigs any.. Anymore.” I tried to explain, pushing up my glasses through my fringe. 

“Why?” He asked, his head tilting as he sat comfortably back on my bed. 

I merely shrugged, not wanting to have this conversation with a man like him; he wouldn’t understand. 

“Come on, you can tell me,” He replied, much softer than before; like the time in the bathroom. “Do you just not like them anymore? Not got the interest?” 

“N-No.. M-Money..” I lied, looking away and heard a small sympathetic “oh” in reply.

It went silent for a while, and I found interest in my feet, curling my toes and uncurling them while I gazed at my mismatched socks. 

“How about I take you to a gig one day?” I heard Kier ask gently, causing my eyes to widen. I couldn’t go out there, it was too big, too loud; full of those judgemental people. I couldn’t do it, but I couldn’t tell Kier that; he’d think I was stupid and that’d be worse. 

“N-No.. I-It’s fine..” I stuttered out, spinning my chair around to him and shaking my head, hiding my dilated eyes behind my fringe.

“Hey,” He replied soothingly in a whisper, moving to kneel in front of me, his hands on my thighs. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay.” Oh, If only that was the problem. “It’ll be fun.” He beamed up at me, showing off his perfectly straight pearly teeth. “I’ll get to find out more about you.” 

“K-Kier.. I-I..” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Kier repeated, insisting for reasons I wasn’t sure of. He leant up and gently moved my fringe out the way, eyes dilating as he stared into my own. I stared into his eyes, the colour of autumn leaves, unable to turn away. He didn’t move either, I wasn’t sure what he was looking at but he wouldn’t turn away; like me. “You’ll be fine.” He eventually mumbled, shaking his head before standing up and leaving. The sound of the door shutting causing me to jump in my seat slightly.