Collision

Chapter Thirty One

~ Chapter Thirty One ~

Carl's P.O.V.

I needed to talk to Ellie. My heart ached for me to. I hadn't talked to her in days and it seemed that it would go on forever if I kept idling. I'd have to be the one to make the first move, and so I volunteered in Michonne's place. Sure, I did it out of concern for her, but Michonne was the second reason I needed to watch over the night. I needed to be with Ellie alone again. I longed for those nights we had simple conversations. Besides, I hadn't been getting much sleep ever since she stopped talking altogether.

"So tell me, what's the real reason you wanted to watch for the first half?" Dad asked while we were on our last round of making sure the base area had no more singled out walkers.

I shrugged, "I honestly just wanted to let Michonne off the hook for once. Her eyes have been bloodshot lately, and she's losing energy whenever we walk. Plus, she did it for me once. Why not do the same for her?"

"Alright," dad ended the conversation, letting me sigh of relief. He was smirking as we made our way back to the camp, making me want to slap the half smile off his face.

While everyone got snug lying on the grass with their packs close, I sat next to Ellie facing the fire. Since we were still technically on bad terms, I'd have to start slow, thus letting us sit in silence for half an hour until everyone was safely sound asleep.

After an awkward cough I mustered up enough courage to finally speak, "tell me what you're thinking right now."

For a while she was silent, but after she saw that I had my eyes on her, ready to pester her for an answer, she let out a breath, "if I told you what I was thinking, would you believe me?"

"Yes, of course," I assured her, glad that I got more than three syllables of a response.

"Liar."

I sighed, bringing my knees close to my chest and wrapping my arms around. "You've got to understand the place I was in."

"Understand what? What place were you in that made you so special as to treat me like I was the most evil person in the world?"

"You told me that my father - the person I look up to the most, the person I trust my life to more than anyone - killed some innocent woman and blamed it on someone else. Flip it the other way around, what if I told you the same thing with Joel?" I defended, trying hard to filter the anger from my voice.

"I would at least try to believe you because I know that people aren't perfect no matter who they are. I wouldn't let myself be blinded with irrational reasons, and I'd actually consider everything that was told to me." I stayed quiet as she continued to let it all out. This is good, I tried to reassure myself, she's opening up to you. Just don't set her over the edge.

Ellie took a breath, but that didn't stop her from speaking. "You didn't even give me a chance to explain anything. You didn't even bother to at least stop and consider what I said. No, you just treated me like I was poison and walked off. Do you think I wanted to tell you? I wanted to give you what every person deserves: the truth. But I guess some people don't even want that anymore."

"It's not that easy to believe," I sighed.

"I know that. It would be for everyone, but you've got to know all of the facts before you go on treating people like shit. Rick's done some things, Joel's done some things - hell, he's done a great deal of things. People do things to save the people they love and it wouldn't be a surprise if it were revealed that Rick did it to save your life."

My brain started hurting at the thought of even considering my dad and Carol murdering two innocent people. Why was this so different from any other thing they've done? I couldn't wrap my head around anything.

"I'm sorry Ellie... I just don't think I'm ever going to believe that..."

A minute, five minutes passed. She finally spoke and turned to me, slowly tensing up a smile. "Oh gosh, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so sorry. I think I've been hallucinating lately cause I haven't been drinking much water. What were we talking about again?"

"It was nothing," I smiled, hoping that the past topic was finally done and over with. "Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yeah of course, why wouldn't I be?" She assured me, helping me feel just that much more relieved. "Although I should be asking you the same question. Are you alright? Your eyes are telling me that you haven't been sleeping much."

She caught me red handed. I chuckled, "yeah, I haven't been able to rest lately. I've been worried you'd hate me forever."

"Really?" Ellie punched my arm playfully, giggling in the process. It was odd: her turning from a completely emotional ball of aggression, to this girly playful type. Whatever happened, I was glad she became happy again. We were finally on good terms. "You know, you can sleep tonight. I'm fine as watch alone. And besides, I've got what- two hours left to go before Carol and Rick wake up for their turn?"

"Exactly, it's two hours. I'm not letting you do that alone. I can stay awake for another two hours, I swear," I informed her, trying to convince both her and me that I could do it.

"C'mon, who are you fooling? Your left eye's about to drop on you. Here," she uncrossed her legs and straightened them in front of her, patting her thighs. "Lie on me and my leg'll be the best pillow you've had since First Night."

"Are you sure?" I asked, the offer proving to be great. Ellie nodded and I muttered, "alright," before laying sideways on her lap. The warmth of her body quickly heated up my cold ears. As my eyes closed slowly, I felt her fingertips stroke through my hair, carefully letting me relax even more.

I let the comforting moment drift me to sleep.

Ellie's P.O.V.

Tears were quietly streaming down my cheeks and I had to rub them away because they had betrayed me. I wasn't supposed to be sad about leaving. I was supposed to be happy that I wouldn't be a burden to anyone anymore.

Stroking Carl's hair one last time, I carefully set his head on his backpack and tiptoed to grab mine. I had to leave quick or I wouldn't leave at all.

Since the sun was already on its final moment of setting, I chose to depart towards the West, grabbing every chance of light I could salvage.

This lonely road ahead would be long. I also had no knowledge of where my feet would take me, but wherever it would be, I'd be happy knowing that the group would have one less mouth to feed.