You been through a lot, girl i understand
Trust me when i say, that breaking your hearts no part of my plan
I give you my truth, just give me your hand just follow my lead
I won't steer you wrong
Trust me in advance
'Ziggy-Passenger-
Jaye.
Today i wasnt in the best mood. My mood was shit. My senior break was shit. I looked like shit. And i felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I just wasnt in the mood.
I showered and got dress. Because i wasn't feeling myself i sure asl didnt dress myself i wore joggers and a half shirt. I didnt wear much make up just eyeliner and some lip gloss and i was out the door.
...
Today i felt like walking. I needed a breather and Angel was understanding. While walking i felt an uneasy feeling. I saw a white car that had been following for a few blocks. All i could think about was nikk getting shot. I tried not to think that hard. I didnt run. I just walked to the front of the school. As i openned the door i said to myself "iight jaye.. here goes nothing."
When i walked in i started walking straight to my locker. I saw nik walking she look like she was in so much pain. One thing i knew about her was that she hated meds so knowing nikk she wasn't taking them. I knew that,, but her little hoes didnt. She wasn't my problem anymore tho. I kept on walking. Then i saw her try and grab on to the lockers. "Nikk wtf is wrong with you, stand up!" One of her hoes was just worried about being with the biggest playa in school. She only cared about her image. No matter how mad i was, i never let hatred come into my heart for nikk. I ran over to her side and wrapped her arm around my neck and i wrapped mine atound her waist. "Come on.. i gotchu".
"And who tf are you?" The hefa asked.
I cocked her ass a rude ass look. I told yall today wasn't my day. "Look hoe! Today aint a good day for me! And i dont have to explain myself to yo ass anyway sooo . You not finna talk to me like yo ass checking me cause i dont do not feel like fucking talking. Right now ! Im not worried about yo ass. Now if you smellin yo lul draws later this afternoon. I wont mind whoopin yo ass. But for now yo best bet is to get the fuck out my face! She and everyone else in the hallway looked at me crazy asl but her ass moved. I walked nik to a benches everyone sat at outside for lunch. She tried sitting up but it was more pain for her so i let her lay on my legs. "Why didn't you take your meds like they told you to?"
She groaned in pain "how did you know"
"What do you mean, when i say i wanna get to know someone thats what i do. Im not here for yo ass because of 'your money', your drops, the clothes you wear, or even because of how ur living. Why the fuck cant you get that in your head nik! Im not those other girls !" I found myself getting mad I had to calm down so I took a breather .
"Jaye?"
"WHAT MAN?!"
"For the last couple of days i been thinking. I been really thinkin about what you and Angel told me. Yesterday i went up to the hospital and spoke with my doctor. He told me how stressed you were and how night and day you stuck it with me. He also told me he had to tell you to leave cause you wouldnt"
"Hmph. Okay and you bringin this shit up to hurt me again? Wtf is your purpose with this story nik.
Nik.
I had really hurt shorty and i could tell she kept talking and i didnt interupt.
"DAY IN AND FUCKIN DAY OUT I WAS THERE. NOT KIESHA, SHAY, TAJA, OR NON OF THEM LUL HOES THAT WANT YOY FOR YOUR MONEY. I WAS WITH YOU FOR FUCKIN YOU NIK BUT YOU SAT THERE AND DISRESPECTED ME. TELLING THESE FEMALES YOU LOVED THEM THEN TURNED AROUND AND ACTED LIKED IT WAS ALWAYS GONE BE US !" I got up so i could look her in her eyes . Ikno i deserved this.
"NIK YOU PLAYED ME MAAAN. I GIVE YOU THAT. ALL THIS TIME I SAT THERE TRYING TO LET THIS FEELINGS GO AWAY. LIEING TO MYSELF SAYIN JAYE WTF WRONG WITH YOU. THIS LOVE SHIT AINT SHIT. YOU DONT KNOW MY PAST LIFE. YOU ONLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MADE ME. YOU WAS GETTING ME AT MY BEST BUT ALL YO ASS DID WAS TURN IT AROUND FOR THE WORST. I FUCKIN LOVE YOU MAN BUT YOU FAILED TO SEE THAT.. AFTER SO MANY YEARS... I HAD CHOSEN YOU! NIK YOU!.. YOUR ALWAYS BLINDED BY FAME.. She started calming down a little so i said jaye, it just aint worth it no more. She can have it. All the fame. The hoes. The lies. But i dont want it. All i ever wanted was you.. no sympathy shit. " i saw a tear struggling to escape her eyes. I held her hand and it fell. She was hurt. And it was all my fault. I never meant for any of this to happen but it did and now i need to fix it.
"Jaye, babygirl im so sorry." She turned her head. "No look at me. You need to hear this. My goal was never to tear you down. I never wanted to see you at your worst. If i could turn the hands of time i would. Them other females? Fuck them! If they aint you i dont want them. Fuck that! I dont need them. I never meant for any of this to happen but it was like the day you told me we couldnt be together. I let my selfish ways get to me. That shit broke me cause i was so use to getting what i wanted. But you wouldn't let me have you and i finally felt what it felt like to need something. That day lasia kissed me. She only did that cause she knew you were coming i kept rejecting her but she wouldnt go away. You haven't even been here for a year and you been through so much hell and sad part is its because of me.
Jaye.
All the rest of it was extra. All i truly wanted was an apology and an explanation. I just wanted to know mfs actually knew what i did for them. That shit aint a show. I frozed at the fact i said i love you.. i hoped she didnt notice it. I kinda blacked out so everything came from the heart.. she continued.
"I... i... i guess what im trying to say is Waiting is a sign of true love and patience .. anyone can say i love you,, but not many can wait around and prove its true' she quoted the watch i gave her. I felt tear began to fall after one another. Thats when i notice she had on MY WATCH. She pulled out a matching watch but it was more for a female. On the back it had the same carve in but it also had a date. September 29. That was the first day when everything had gotten serious between us. She put it on and finished what she had to say.
"Jaye, I love you too and i wanna show you that. I dont know much about love but whatever it is. I want us to figure it out together. I wouldn't want this with anyone else but you and only you. I've put you threw so much. All i ask is you take this chance on me. Let me show you this hard front. This coldhearted shit can be turned around. Let me make your face brightin up. Let me be the first one to make you smile and the morning and the last person you talk to at night. Iknow it's so soon but will you be mine?"
I punch the shit out her arm. Iknow it was a wierd ass response but i was angry and happy asl at the same time. Thats all i knew how to do. "Damn jaye! Is that a no or a yes?" I looked at her and she looked at me. We ended up sharing a passionate ass kiss. "what the fuck took you so long."she laughed and hugged me. I heard her groan in pain. "Is that a yes?"
"Im scared but ive put so many emotions into you already. And i put too many of your.. i mean THEM hoes and check.I would be stupid asl not to give 'us' a try. So with that being said 'yes nik i would love to be your girlfriend'.
This chapter kinda meant alittle more to me then the others . Why? i dont know.I think its because I kinda put alotta thought to the words that i wrote in here. . Still. I hope yall enjoy. Dont forget about my other book. 'I have a boyfriend but i want her' Comment. Vote. -Jaye Mariell-
