Ask Jake (Book One of the Whisper Series)

Twenty-Three: Wind-up Toys

Gillian

There is nothing about my room that resembles the space in which I grew up. It's not even the same size. Mom needed a little more room to expand the bathroom and she made the window much larger. It's no longer filled with movie and music posters; instead it looks like something you find in a bed and breakfast. A high four-poster bed sits against the wall, with a billowy, white and blue comforter. There are enough pillows on the bed for five people.

The antique lamp and it's dim light romanticizes the entire room with a warm hue and draws special attention to the vanity placed in the corner - a piece of furniture that no longer has my fingernail polish stains and markings. It's been refurbished to it original luster. I run my hand over the top of craftsmanship and stand amazed at how beautiful it looks.

At the end of the bed sits a chest. I don't need to open it to know that it's filled with all our family's favorite board games and old pictures.

I can picture my mom sitting in old leather chair in the corner, reading one of her book club books, while the sun sets in the picturesque window.

Christmas presents that I gave my mother years ago adorn the walls. Four landscape photos taken as part of my thesis during my last semester are framed beautifully and thoughtfully placed. Mom cried when I gave her these photos and I remember how great it made me feel to know how much she loved them.

Delicate white curtains flap with the slight breeze of the open window while I place my luggage on the chest and climb onto the tall bed. The setting sun casts streaks of warms across my face and welcomes me home.

"Whoa," I say to myself, catching the beautiful site of the palm trees silhouetted in the colorful sky.

"I love to read in here because of that view. It's pretty, huh Gilli," Mom says standing in the doorway, looking out at the view with me.

"So beautiful," I say. "Just like this room and everything you've done with the house. It's very...you, Mom. I really like it."

"Thanks, Gilli. It's so nice to have you back here." Tears fill her eyes, and she starts to laugh. "Oh! I'm not going to cry. No, no, no. Dinner is in a half an hour. Okay?"

As my sweet mother starts to walk away, I call to her, "Mom." She turns and looks at me. "Its really good to be here."

It really is good to be back home. The scent of the salty, flowery, air greeted me the second I stepped off the plane, along with feelings of nostalgia. It's such a relief to be able to enjoy being here. I expected the worst but feel really happy and peaceful.

All of my childhood memories and belongings are in boxes in the garage. I remember Mom asking what she should do with all of it and I told her to throw it away; I never wanted to see any of it again. At the time, I meant it with a passion; if I were able, I would have taken everything to the beach and burned them all myself. I am glad that she did not comply with my wishes and saved them for me.

Earlier, the first thing Rene' had me do, after seeing the giant welt I still have on my head and crying for an hour, was make me go through some of my boxes. She said it was better to jump into it and not put it off. She stayed with me and we went through them. All except for one that is marked, Tristan and Gillian. I am not ready.

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We have received over forty thousand messages in the Ask Jake email account, making my work over the last few weeks very productive and fullfilling. Angela has given me two interns and two employees to weed out all the junk. An intern named Sage has been working very close with me. She sends me the funniest questions. Like, Why can't my boyfriend ever change the toilet paper roll? and Is it weird that my husband looks at a photo of his mother when we make love?