t h i r t y - o n e ↣ somewhere in the blaze

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C A R L

CARL GRIMES COULD NOT stand it. The waiting, the rationing of time—Alice's time. He wished it was his own to be spent. God, how he wished it was his own. He was helpless when it came to the girl who he seemed to be living for. Honing bullets surrendered to him, useless in the rest of their nature. Though, his hand still often found the spot, fingers ghosting over the pellets of hardness in his pocket.

The girl was fit to drive, later that morning, though both the driver and the passenger were sleep deprived in anticipation of the inevitable. Alice was clammy, pale. Lips lacking color and eyes draped in bags more vibrant than anything else about her. Pains and aches throughout her torso and nothing Carl could do about it.

The two were heading to Hilltop. Though in the heart of the chaos occurring, it was a far safer place to be than Alexandria. Several minutes were spent in dreadful conversations and even more were wasted in the loudest of silences. Alice spoke of the beginning of the end, her end. Carl couldn't quite fathom it, which frustrated the feverish girl.

After a car ride frantically dodging everything he needed to hear, Carl unloaded Alice's things from home—which didn't constitute very many items, because she would soon no longer need them. She'd said goodbye to everyone, thankful to be able to do so before her presence became hard to bear. The girl was handling this a lot better than Carl was. He knew it came from fear, but the boy was angry. A remaining, lonely lifetime's worth of frustration.

The boy jumped at the opportunity to get some fresh air, as it was Enid's turn to hear the news.

He'd left the two to talk, in the old infirmary, and wandered out on his own. Alice said the conversation would take a while, and Carl could only think about how the girl did not have a while. About how Enid needed to hang on to this last while as long as she could. Maggie and Carol, too.

Carl made his way out of the front gates. The people of Hilltop buzzed around. Saviors hostage and a pretentious leader afoot.

He found himself in between the tall trees, no clue how far he'd traveled. Once he made it past the curious wall-watchers of Hilltop, it was all but the same. Tree after tree, footstep after footstep. The moment was reminiscent of the other time he went blindly searching for answers. The only other time Alice had sent him spiraling. A downpour covering and a rusty pick-up truck sheltering.

Nature was a reminder of how everything came to be. Alice would say something scientific about earth's matter, if she was right next to him. If she wasn't dying. In this case, she'd mention how her matter would still be on earth. Often times, he'd catch himself imagining normalcy, letting himself exist in a false reality where the clock wasn't ticking.

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