Dear Sweet Love - Phan

One.

Friday, September 25th, 2015;
Humans don't rule the world. They are not discovering the Universe. They are destroying anything that gets in their path.
We are animals! We are not superior, or more important. Actually, we are the monsters. Some of us kill for fun. Some of us think that bugs or tigers aren't worth living, that they are "teasing" our kind. Some of us are even long forgotten, because of their true words that the others could not take. We are muderers.
Every steps we are taking, the World dies more and more. Even our planet is dying right now, taking lots of "animals" with it.
As you are reading this, someone is being killed, or even dead. And no one cares, or even know.
As I am writing this, this someone is lost forever, and I can't do anything about it.
I just wish that we could, one day, live without disturbing any other beings. That we could stop. If this day happens, I will sure be dead.
Because some of us are thinking only for themselves.
And there was one of this type, right in front of me.

"Stop doing that, it's freaking me out!"
I was staring at the wall, my thoughts haunting my head. Her voice was still ringing in my ears. I looked again in her direction,  then wasn't surprised;
her dark eyes were watching me and my every moves. I could see the disgust, the fear in them. As I sighed deeply, her ironic smile appeared again. She can't respect anyone, can't she?
"Mom."
She sighed and said, with that same smile on her face;
"What is it baby?"
I frowned. Had she already forgot that I hate when she calls me like that? Or is she just trying to get me more upset?
I should shut her up, tell her that she's being selfish and rude, but I can't. I just can't. I don't know how to tell her, how to make her stop. I'm too kind to people. I care too much about what the others think about me.
There was still a little courage in me. Why shouldn't I use it?
"Mom. Stop that."
Her smile widened and she replied:
"Stop what?"
I sighed again, the pain in my heart growing softly. I wish I could be able to just slam the door and go away. I wish I would be capable to yell at her, to tell her that she's weak inside, that I think she is covering herself with a mask. She's in pain. I'm sure she is. Why wouldn't she?
"Stop, that. The fake smile and all. I don't like it."
She seemed surprised, as if I just discovered her secret, as if I didn't learned it long ago. Then the smile disappeared, her eyes closed and she murmured:
"I'm sorry Phil. I'm so sorry."
The pain then just seemed more alive. Like something was burning in my torso.
I walked out of the room, then I ran. Ran out of the house, ran out of the street, ran down to the park. The park that I sometimes went with her for a walk. Tears appeared on my cheeks. Why?
Why am I a useless coward?
Why are we so cruel with the others? Why can't we learn from the others' mistakes?
Why am I crying?
I think I'm selfish too, in my own way.
I sat on one of the swings, trying to dry my eyes and move on. But the tears wouldn't stop, as if I was an endless waterfall. It was difficult to breathe, every gasp of air distanced by a miserable sob. My body was shaking. She lied to me, even if I knew what the truth was. And I was there, doing nothing but hoping. I should have done something.
I picked up my phone, as I was still crying in the darkness of the little park. I pressed the buttons blankly. At least, he wouldn't judge me.
The phone rang two times before he picked it up.
"Phil?
-C-can you..pick me up?"
My voice was shaky and weak, but I didn't care. I just wanted to go home.
"Where are you?"
I looked around me, as if I didn't knew, then replied;
"I-I'm at the park. Beside my mom's house."
I wiped some of the salty water that was now all over my face, but it didn't help. I was still crying like my life had no meaning.
"You are in Manchester?"
I didn't tell him, I was too happy. I forgot about it. It didn't seem to surprise him very much, and it didn't for me. I always do that.
I replied, as the tears stopped;
"Yeah.
-Okay. I'm coming. It's going to take some time, okay?"
I lightly nodded and realized he couldn't see me. The corners of my eyes and my cheeks were now red, easily noticeable, contrasting with my pale skin. I mumbled;
"Thanks."
I heard him get up and walk on the other side of the phone. He didn't have to do this. To drive three hours just for picking me up in a dark park at 11:00 p.m.
"You d-don't have to do this. I'm s-, I shouldn't have-"
He sighed and replied;
"It's okay. You would have done the same."
A newer tear dropped off my nose and fell on the sandy ground.
"Y-yeah, I guess."
I heard the clinging of the keys and a door opening, then he said;
"Do you know what to do? It's pretty cold outside."
I didn't think about that, neither did I think of the lonely hours coming.
"I guess I'll just go in a restaurant or something like that."
I heard the car starting, then he asked;
"Do you have any money?"
I didn't bring money. I didn't think about that either. That she was going to deliver the truth, that I would run away.
"N-no."
I licked my now dried lips, as if it would help. At least I got my phone.
"Hum, okay. Well, just go somewhere warm and stay there. You just have to text me the emplacement later."
I mumbled a "okay", then the phone call ended.
I was now alone, without anyone to talk to, without anyone to comfort me.
Now alone, like the brown leaf that fell from one of tree. I sighed as I wiped more of the tears off my neck and my chin.
Summer's going away.