Mitsukou oneshots

Eulogy

Listen guys, I am not sad, WEEEEEEEE are sad.

(referring to tbhk hiatus/ aidairo needing a break due to medical issues)

heh... angst.....

Collage au cuz like it makes sense to me heh.... :3

 TW: Usual things idk lolz

Third person

Sousuke held the blonde in his arms questioning what to do. "He's crying, like, actually crying" he thought to himself as he stroked the others back gently. After all, despite how rigid and rough Kou may be, Sousuke still has a soft spot for him. Kou's grip tightened slightly. 

"This really pisses me off" Kou finally spoke. 

The silence, only occasionally broken by Kou's sobs, was one Sousuke could feel in the deepest part of his heart. 

"Mind telling me what's up?" Sousuke asked pulling away from him to shut the door. Once it was shut, Kou pulled him closer once again. 

"Please don't look at me like this." Kou pleaded. That tone was one Sousuke could never bring himself disobey. So full of pity. 

"Okay then." Sousuke kept stroking Kou's hair. 

Sousuke's apartment wasn't anything to write home about, it being a studio apartment and all. Still, it gave Kou that safe warm feeling that caused all his pent up emotions to be able to be processed. Earlier in the morning, Kou was so happy. Sousuke couldn't help but wonder what could've happened for him to return in this state. 

"Do you want water, tea-" Sousuke smiled and pulled away. 

"Hot chocolate?" Sousuke motioned to the tub of chocolate milk powder Kou had gifted him days before, it being one of their favorites after all. Kou looked down with tears in his eyes and nodded. Sousuke's smile grew ever so slightly, despite all that happens, he still has the spirit of a child. 

While Sousuke went to prepare the drinks, Kou took off his shoes and put them to the side. He sat in his usual chair. Kou's cries had stopped and slowed down to sniffles. Sousuke places the drinks on the coasters 

"Sorry about this, I'm just hella stressed with exams coming up, tiara and teru needing things despite me being like half an hour away.." Kou admits looking ashamed at how he let his emotions win. 

"It's okay, I'll do what I can"

The two smiled. 

------

"He didn't care what hurt and what did. He made an effort, those same standards he had trouble upholding. He was the kind of person who you could look at and think: "I love whatever is going on with him" "

-----

Kou looked at himself in the mirror and felt hideous. The hatred he felt for himself in that moment made him feel numb. He looked at the bottles of pills. His feelings winning once more, he took it. The whole bottle of anti-depressants. Melatonin now graced his tongue, then Tylenol. 

He cried in his covers. His head pounding over and over again. He felt so heavy. His heart beats lessening.

His feet went cold, he dared not to move them. Then his hand went numb. He couldn't feel his body soon after. 

What he experienced was his own twisted version of bliss. A high he would only pursue when at a low. He would then, permanently close his eyes to rest.

Now weeks later, Sousuke returned from his home town, dreading going to his house that was filled with bittersweet memories. 

Days blurred together, next thing he knew he was giving the speech. He was surrounded by people who felt similar pain. While that was comforting on its own, he knows he wont ever have anyone like Kou again. Kou was the person he saw in everything. Every time there's a knock on the door, every message he gets, even when he says something sassy, he expects Kou to be there. He WANTS Kou to be there.

He's not.

Sousuke sits by his grave.

"I miss you" He says as he starts another conversation with the rock that now hold the memory of his best friend and lover. 

-----

WHY IS THIS SO SAD. I MADE IT SAD.