Mitsukou oneshots

Aw shit here comes pac man

yo yo yo what it is mfs

sighs, I write.

My tummy hurts so I'm gonna write angst

(I'm on my school-issued device)

Tw: angst, suicide, failed attempt at a double suicide, gore-ish details, barely any logistics, not very good grammer.

(pls save me I'm tired)

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Kou awoke once more, the dreams of his beloved still taunt him in his weakest state. How could he have been so weak to allow this to happen. He felt himself wanting to tear the very fabrics of space and time. Who cared about religion and tradition? Why did the loss of a dearest hurt his heart so badly? He's already going to burn for the sins he's committed, what's one more? Why not commit the worst sin of them all, and give up on living entirely

His stomach felt like an untamed ocean of feelings. He felt himself slowly losing control over the ugly emotions he always tried to hide. Shared feelings, in truth, sounded nice. In practice, it felt like a guilty sob story. To be pitied is to be weak, to bear your misfortunes is strength. The only one who made this mindset crumble was none other than Mitsuba Sousuke. He whose simple remarks irked Kou in ways that allowed him to be much more childish.

Kou wanted to be mature from a very young age, he would help with cooking and cleaning, he would help take care of his little sister, he would even go out of his way to help everyone around him. He felt these qualities were what made him who he is today. Meeting Sousuke was like seeing himself act in a strange and new manner. Sousuke brought things out of him with his sweetly calculated words.

Kou knew he was falling down to rock bottom, he never expected to have Sousuke down with him. Sousuke wasn't meant to be there. Sousuke was the ONE good thing kou could always rely on. Kou couldn't like living without Sousuke. Every breath felt ten times more light. Kou lost himself in every bit that is Sousuke. He'd go as far as to mark his blood with Sousuke's name so that every time his blood dripped he'd be reminded to be stronger for his best friend.

Though these thoughts were shared, despite how selfish it was, their love was never spoken. How could such a sin be accepted. Especially with Kou being a descendant of a strictly religious family. How could he be the family disappointment, Sousuke wouldn't allow such a tragic fate to be placed on Kou. Sousuke had to do something for the blonde boy he'd shown his heart to. Sousuke would constantly remind himself after every compliment or set soft spoken words, he couldn't accept Kou's feelings.

Sousuke was far too selfish to leave Kou for good, even more selfish in allowing his true feelings to shine. Kou loved when Sousuke was honest. Those days felt like a good night's sleep. Both of them would often lose themselves in their forbidden love.

When February crept up on them, the two couldn't fathom the amount of silent unspoken love that has over powered them.

The two laid on the grasslands that were near their homes. They enjoyed one of their last summers together before Kou's parents sent him to a catholic school and eventually Italy. Sousuke's eyes met Kou's once more before Kou smiled sadly.

"You know I can't say it, I'd go to hell" Kou said, his eyes losing their usual shine that Sousuke had come to adore. Sousuke's smile became smaller.

"but, just maybe, some people are worth going to hell and back" Kou said this time reaching out to hold sousuke's hand.

"I don't want to live without you" Sousuke admited holding back tears.

"I don't want to live without you either.." Kou's thumb caressing Sousuke's hand in a comforting manner.

"Can I say something you might not like?"

"Sure?"

"I don't think I'll live without you. If to love is to live, losing you.... I'm basically dead" Sousuke admited. Kou, in hearing this had little to no restraint on the tears that left his eyes afterwards.

"I feel the same way, I know my parents want to marry me off to some rich girl. I just wish-" Kou's eyes dart back down to Sousuke's hand.

The end. I am NOT finishing Ts idk what 1am me was on