Love Wholeheartedly | JB| a.u | BWWM

Six.

Meeting up with Pattie for this was more exciting than just meeting up with her. I had my adoption papers ready and a whole bunch of questions too (I also had an open mind about the engagement party, which I knew she'd bring up no matter what).

Lewis dropped me off at a coffee shop and I walked in and found Pattie reading a magazine at a table at the back. As I approached her, I realised that they were wedding magazines. Great.

We greeted each other warmly and, after settling down, I ordered a coffee and some lemon cake to eat.

"How are you doing?" Pattie asked me as we had our food. "You seem to be happy. Even your skin is glowing."

"Everything seems to be going well." I smiled.

"That's good. I have some good news. The plans for your engagement party are going well. Maybe we can run through them?"

"Of course." I nodded. "But first, I wanted to talk to you about adopting." I got the envelope out of my handbag and placed it on the table.

Pattie smiled broadly.

"Let's talk about the adoption. Justin told me you want to take in little Maya."

I nodded.

"How's she doing?" I asked.

"She's doing well. Growing up healthily... she's just been around a lot of people since the day you and Justin found her: social services, police, doctors and nurses..."

"It must be overwhelming for her."

"She's still a baby. She probably won't remember much of this but I do wish she'd be taken in already. Babies need a lot of love and affection and I really hope that you and Justin get to parent her because I've also developed a soft spot for her. She's all sorts of adorable."

I couldn't imagine how hard it must've been for a child that young to be without the love of a mother; being put in all sorts of places and seeing new faces constantly, having no one to kiss and hold you and tell you that they love you.

"How long will it take?" I asked.

Pattie looked at me, confused.

"The adoption process." I said.

"It takes months." She smiled. "A lot goes into adopting, Dileah. It can be exhausting."

I frowned.

"And after everything is done, is there a guarantee that she'll be ours?"

Pattie shook her head.

"All you and Justin need to do is put your best foot forward, sweetie. I know that you're good people and I say you have nothing to worry about. You just need to be patient and cooperative."

I nodded my head.

I didn't know why exactly I thought everything would happen overnight. Maybe it was the excitement I felt. I was dying to have Maya with me and it upset me to hear that this process would take months. I'd probably miss out on her milestones.

Pattie kept giving me reassurance and it calmed me down a little. What I needed to do was set aside space for disappointment. I was once good at the whole disappointment thing but I'd become so happy over the months, I just wanted everything to be perfect.

The idea of being rejected for the adoption hurt me. I didn't know if I'd be able to take being denied another baby.

"Dileah..." Pattie held my hand.

I hadn't realised that I was crying.

"Sorry, Pattie." I wiped my tears. "Maybe I'm not ready..."