Assuagement

Chapter1:Breakup

"I can't do it Marge, this relation is no more, I am pulling off this relation. "

It was the last words I have heard from Joe's mouth.

At first, I wasn't able to process what he said to me. When I grasped the reality he already had turned his back to me.

I was in verge of crying, my eyes were already full of tears like a black cloud in the sky from which rain is going to fall any second. The tear drops were flowing through my cheeks and I could do nothing to stop them.

I became dizzy and I didn't have any control on my body, I became too weak and fell down on my knees hopelessly in the endless road with tears rolling down my eyes and too much pain in my heart. I kept telling myself, it must be a nightmare. I need to wake up, he can't just leave me like that. This is just a bad, a very bad nightmare. Wake up Marge!!! Just Wake up !!!!

My love! My ray of sunshine, my Joe he won't do this to me. He won't right?

We promised to live together grow old together.

Why is he walking away? I need to get to him...but my body isn't working. I can get to him, he'll be back right?

This is just a very bad joke. He'll come back and we'll laugh about it.

I tried to reach him, crawling and stretching my hands towards the way which he had gone.

Don't go Joe! Please don't leave. Why are you doing this babe? Don't go!!!

I wanted to scream out but I wasn't able to utter a word. Silence engulfed me so much that my ears started to ring and I cried much harder.

All that was going through my mind was the memories of my childhood with Joe.

We were friends since elementary school as we live in same neighborhood, we often used to play together and as we grew together I remember he never used to fight with me but he would always stand with me when others didn't and we become best friends just like that.

Joe had asked me to be his girlfriend in prom night 4 years ago....how fast time flies. It was such a wonderful moment at that time, it felt like it was spring suddenly, the flowers began to bloom everywhere.

Many ups and down were there in our 16 years of friendship and 4 years of relationship and the situation of breaking up is the first time in the history of our love life. I know him more than I know myself.

But if I remember correctly he changed a bit around this month he grew much colder, didn't want to hangout with me and I thought he was just going through some hard time and he'll be back to normal. I never even felt he wasn't happy with what we had because there was nothing to worry about. We were fine.

"What happened Joe? What was my mistake ?" I screamed loudly my tears were flowing unconditionally, I haven't ever cried like this. My eyes were still looking at the way Joe had gone though it was all blurry I was hoping deep inside he'll come back to me.

He can't just leave me in the middle of the road like this. The Joe I know wouldn't be able to leave me here like this. Did he really change this much. The tears in my eyes weren't stopping and I couldn't do anything about it.

At that moment, a strong gust of wind hit me, I suddenly realized I was kneeling down on the hot road, crying bitterly.

Should I confront him about why he did that? No! I won't be able to stop my tears in front of him. What if he says he hates me to my face ? I won't be able to handle that. I think I should just go home first.

Trying to hold back the tears I stood on my legs wiping up the tears in my face. I suddenly gained courage to gather myself and go home.

I was pretending that everything was alright and I put a fake smile on my face. I don't know how i arrived home, but when I reached to my room I couldn't take it anymore, it hurts so bad. I was feeling this weird twinge in my heart and stomach. It felt like my heart had been crushed into pieces and I felt like I won't be able to gather those pieces anymore.

I locked myself in the room drew all the curtains down and made the room dark. I wanted it to be as much dark as I was feeling inside. I reached to a corner and slipped myself down the walls wrapping my arms around my legs hoping it'll ease the pain.

Nothing! It did nothing. All I could think about is still Joe. His smile, his hair, his smell how much I miss them. How much they'll comfort me right now.

I began to cry again.

"What was my fault Joe ,have you got a better girl than me? After years of happiness ,what made you do so? Why aren't you here? Why aren't you with me like you always used to be. You told me yesterday that you will love me that you'll love me forever, then why this today, why?"

I was just trying to figure out the things in my brain. Though it isn't working well and I just kept picturing him here with me.

My eyes were full of tears I can say that because the sight in front of me was too blurry and in the blurriness also I could see the face of Joe clearly "I love you Joe " I screamed letting the tears roll down the cheeks but my Joe wasn't there neither to hold me tightly in his arm nor to comfort me by embracing in his warm arms with his love.

I took my phone but I wasn't sure what to do so at first and then I called him but he didn't pick up , I texted him too but he neither received the call nor replied my texts it went like that for days.

"How can you even do that to me Joe? You told that you love me then why do you do this to me" I screamed making the room echo.