Assuagement

Chapter 8:Going back to Uni

I don't know what outcome this will bring, but I guess I'll be going to uni tomorrow.

I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking if I really will meet Joe if I go tomorrow. What will I talk about when I see him?? Will he talk to me ?? If he does talk, what will he say to me??

The alarm signalled it's morning already. I don't wanna get up I don't wanna go. Should I go to the uni? I think I should take a rain check because I totally don't wanna be in this situation right now, it's already hard enough to cope without seeing him. I can't face him. But, I wanna know what he wants and why he did that. Maybe I'll be better off without knowing?? But, what if I'll come to regret this day when I could have gone and talked with him. He'll come right?? Jane was so determined, she surely will make him come but what if she won't be able to make him come and I'll just be waiting for him like a fool.

"Argggggggghhhhhh" I screamed loudly, I can't take this anymore.

Let it be.

I just got up and decided to take a shower, maybe it'll help me clear my head.

I looked in the mirror, the tried looking hazel eyes looked right back at me, my eyes look so puffy and red. It even burns when I stare at something for too long. So much for not sleeping all night, its taking a toll on my fucking eyes!!! I look like I've lost some weight, my cheeks look a bit hollow and my brown hair which was a bit wavy at the end which usually looked good now looked like the end of the broom. I can't do anything about my hair, maybe I should just put it in a bun and I think I should put some concealer to hide those viscous dark circles. I applied some make up, now at least I look somewhat presentable.

I haven't gone to uni for 2 weeks... it's been so long. What will I tell people when they ask me about my absence? I am not that much of a social butterfly, I have limited friends which include friends I share with Joe and Jane and some of her friends. On my own, I'll just keep quiet and be as if I know no one, I guess I am good at being invisible around people.

If it had been a normal day, Joe would been here by 7 telling me "to get my ass out of the bed" and setting the breakfast he had brought from the café we loved. We would then ride to the university in his car. It has always been like that, we choose the same uni so that we could be together and spend more time with each other. I didn't know that this day would come when he would not be at my doorstep to pick me up. Gosh!!! I was so dependent on him and now that he's gone, I don't know where to start and what to do anymore. I just skipped breakfast because I don't have much appetite thinking about what is gonna happen today. Also, since I don't have my own car, I'm pretty late and if I want to reach for my first class, I really need to run. Jane is not going to give me a ride, so, running it is.

She didn't even come back home after she left telling me to come to uni. What was that girl doing out all night, only that girl knows.

I ran to catch the bus that goes to the uni and I made it in time. Everyone around me in the bus were on their own hustle.

The world is one but every one of us carry our own world, don't we?? While I locked myself in the room thinking it was the end of my world, someone was trying to make new beginning in their own world, someone was getting back on their feet. The world keeps moving on doesn't it? All of us think our world is the most important one among all the people.

Maybe no one had time to care about my absence. My existence isn't as big for people to notice it. We are so crazy busy with our own life that we don't have a moment to glance back to what is going on round us. I wouldn't even be thinking about this if Joe was with me right now. I would have been too happy to think about the existence of any other person except us.