THE FIVE STAGES OF BOOK HANGOVERS
Stage One: Denial
"Oh, HELL TO THE NO. I just did not just finish the whole book. There has got to be some pages in the end that are missing. Wait, what if my sister tore them out just to bug me? This can't be the end! No way."
Stage Two: Anger
"WHAT THE FISH EVEN? HOW CAN THIS BE THE END. HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME WHEN I BUY ALL YOUR BOOKS AND PAY ALL MY POCKET MONEY FOR THEM? YOU ARE SO WICKED. I CURSE THE DAY THIS BOOK WAS MANUFACTURED, OKAY? GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. NO WAIT, I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY BAD DAY, I'M OUT."
Stage Three: Bargaining
"Just a little more? Please? Just one more book. If that's too much, how about just a few pages? One chapter? A cover reveal? I'll pay all your expenses for a trip to Paris. Or-or I could give you gallons of coffee, I've heard writers love that! I could give you my best friend's soul if you want? Please? With a cherry on top?"
Stage Four: Depression
"Look at me, crying over fictional characters. What is real life even? I think I'll just stay here. More wine, please."
Stage Five: Acceptance
*Adele's voice* "Nevermind, I'll find someone like you."
(Until the next book is released) [Then repeat stages 1 through 5] {It is frequently found that the cycle is not linear – one may jump from stage 1 to 4 to 2 to 5 again. Frequent relapses may occur due to browsing fan art tags on tumblr}
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