Roller Coaster

THE - Funeral

Today was the day. The day where I have to say goodbye to an empty casket. The day I wish I was the one in there. Today was June 20th. It's been almost a year since she went missing. For a moment, I wish she was here so I at least could see the love of my life to say goodbye. Today was Mea's funeral. I told the boys everything I knew and about the phone call. That was almost two weeks ago. Every feeling I've had since then has disappeared. This body I call home contains nothing, except for my brain that thinks too much and my tear-less eyes, since I can no longer cry.

"Ready?" Niall just looked at me, eyes full of emotion. He tried to study my own, but he was confused when nothing was there. "No." But I followed him out anyways.

We had to get there early, to make sure everything was set. As soon as I walked in, emotions hit me. All of the ones I've been missing. "What are those? Those aren't her favorites! She loves daisies, not sunflowers. Can't you idiots tell a daisy from a damn sunflower?!" I threw the disgusting things on the ground. "Harry!" Niall was right behind me. "Harry, man, you can't be doing this now." I gaped at him.

"Did you not know her favorites were daisies, Niall?" He sighed. "It's maddening enough that I have to say they were her favorites. I'm not going to let this funeral be anything less than perfect. It has to be just like her. I need to say goodbye." I fell to my knees and I started sobbing. I felt a hand on my back, and I snapped up. I glared at Niall. I don't need his condolences at the moment. He's acted just fine throughout this whole torture of losing Mea. She was his girlfriend for the love of God. She was the love of my life and no one even knew it. Not even the person of my affection.

"Maybe you should take a walk, cool off. Be back in ten, however." He gave me one last look and turned and walked away. The air in the room started to get heavier and I couldn't breathe. I ran out of the funeral home gasping for air. There was a bridge nearby, and I just stood there staring at the water running underneath me. I thought about this moment long and hard. It would only take one jump, and I'd be free from this misery and I'd be with her. 

"Harry." I heard her. I turned around but no one was there. I was completely alone. "Don't do it." It sounded so good to hear her voice. I missed it so much. I took one last glance at the water, and started to walk back. I had to say goodbye.

I walked in and everyone stared at me. Peter, Mea's dad was about to start. "Mea was my daughter, my best friend, my rock. I will never forget her mother or my little girl. Eulogies are hard enough already, but this is like cracking concrete with a spoon. I know that Mea is riding the highest roller coaster she can find up there in the best amusement park in the world. Meadhra Jade MacDoolin, June 20, 1995. May you rest in peace baby girl, and Happy Birthday."

After Peter said the eulogy, they carried the casket out to the hearse and drove it to the cemetery. People took the flowers from the arrangement, which I had no say about it. Everyone left and we all stood around the hole where the casket would be waiting. It was kind of pointless to have it sit there until they found her...her body at least. It wouldn't be her after what Gavin did. I plan to find the bastard, no doubt in my mind.

Niall turned around, just the sight of the dirt and grass getting to him. "W-what?" We all turned around, and we understood Niall's confusion.

Dirty, stained with blood, and crying. "I've missed you so much. Did you miss me?"