Tease, Toy and Trouble

Something came out of a bag..

In just 5 minutes my entire life was over. My cover had been blown, it might just have been the few people in this room but that would change soon enough. I had noticed how Asher had called someone and I knew instantly who and what would happen. Officers would arrive, people would be background checked and I would get security again. I had really been naive if I thought it would have ended with him being in prison, I guess he had more power over her then I had thought.

I didn't understand why I ran into Ryder's arms but for some reason I knew he would keep me safe. I hated how he got under my skin and made me believe all these things. I had tried so hard to burry all these emotions and feelings and now here they were shouting at me and overwhelming my senses. I needed space and a break so when I was cleared to leave I practically ran out of the door. I knew I hurt his feelings by leaving the way I did but he needed to understand I needed to think things trough because it was all to much to soon.

I let out a sigh and turned on my back so I could stare at my ceiling. I wanted to rub my face but knew it would hurt so I started to trace the lines on my bedspread. "Such a mess. Why is she doing this!" I balled up the fabric in my hand and winced when I felt the little cuts open.

"I don't know BoBo but this isn't your fault. She has issues and we will find her soon enough." I glanced towards the door and watched how Asher moved towards my bed and gave me a reassuring smile.

"How can you be sure, she is smart. I just don't get why she is doing this. Is it because I let him take her? Is this my punishment? Is she having her revenge on me?" More and more questions started flooding my brain and I wiped away a stray tear before I glanced back over at my brother.

"We don't know yet Bo but they are asking him. If they are still talking then we might be able to figure this out faster." I nodded at that and watched his shape blur and fade when tears started to fill my eyes. He really hurt her and he broke her.

"I'm sorry Soph, I'm so sorry." I started to repeat my mantra and Asher held me while I cried. I missed the tall shadow standing in the doorframe with balling fists. But Ash gave him a reassuring nod before he tried calming me down again.

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School had officially started a week ago but I had permission to do my work and send it online until I was ready to face the masses. I pushed my books away from me and grabbed a pencil to scratch my scalp. My hair was so disgustingly greasy I would shudder every time I would touch it.

Why not shower you ask? Well I feel terrified being in the bathroom alone. What if the door doesn't open, what if I don't lock the door and someone comes in to hurt me, what if none of that happens and I'm just slowly going crazy. "FÜCK!" I scream out while I kick out my frustration against the table. I jump back in surprise when I see the entire table crash to the ground.

"Well that's a bit dramatic don't you think?" My heart jumps out of my chest and I dive behind the couch and crawl to the corner. "My god woman, what is your deal! Get yourself together you loon!" I know this voice, the fear that was fogging up my mind was slowly letting up. I let out a soft sigh and let go of the candle stick that I found in the corner before slowly getting up.

"Hi, why are you here? Is something happening?" I whisper out softly while looking at the ground. "Seriously who are you? The girl I know doesn't act like a sad, scared, hopeless and wounded little animal. Why do you smell as if you have never heard of soap? So disgusting." A fierce blush flooded my cheeks and balled my fists up at his statement.

"Stop acting like you know me and just tell my why you're here." I looked up to see Ryder looking at me as if I had escaped a mental facility. "Can you take a shower before we talk about stuff, my god you stink and your hair.....my god your hair looks like it's producing butter! For how much would that sell?" He stepped closer but decided against that and moved back a few steps and pinched his nose.

"Funny....." I drawled out softly. "I don't like the bathroom.........it freaks me out." I softly twirled a piece of string around my finger and glanced at his face. "Well you don't have to go to extreme measures to shower with me. You only had to ask! You could have at least washed yourself a little by the kitchen sink." He lifted his arms and took up a bodybuilders pose, his shirt rose up showing me a bit of his V shape and I felt my mouth dry up.

"Yeah I guess you'll do, let's go then." The surprised look on his face was quickly replaced by a lust full gaze and a grin. This guy is so easy sometimes I thought to myself before I slowly moved my way towards the bathroom. My hands were trembling and the closer I got the worse it got.

A warm strong grip stopped my movements and I turned to look up into his eyes. I felt a sense of calm and peace settle in me as I noticed his kind smile. How......how does he do this to me, is it normal. What is happening to me, clearly something is wrong with me. I let out a deep sigh before I pulled him into the bathroom with me. "Here goes nothing." I whispered before flipping the light switch.

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I was gone for a while, sorry about that. There was some drama going on a vacation happening and then a lot of work. It's hard sometimes to combine this with real life. Sometimes I'm so tired I don't know what to write anymore and other times I have loads of energy and time but no inspiration. I don't know what's wrong with me. I go trough cycles I guess. There are times I can write for days on end and then I feel like an empty vessel and I only want to read or watch a show or movie.

I have recently been stuck in K-drama land. I don't even know how I got there but then I was hooked. It's scary how strangely addictive it is. I also find most of the male actors very attractive and that makes me have weird dreams and I started to write something really weird in this chapter because of it.....I deleted it.

*sigh* I have so many weird dreams now -.-' that's besides the point though! IM SORRY! I didn't mean to abandon you! (whoever reads this is a :you I guess). I'm going to try and better myself and start writing again. It's cold outside now a days so I'm staying in more so when I find the time and type away. If there suddenly is a strange k-drama vibe happening I blame my weird addiction! SARANGHÉ <----- I mean what is my problem, probably spelled it wrong to!...........(-_-)>*sigh*.