Leave Your Mark | Various!BNHA x Reader

76: Breaking Tension

Man. You should've known this would come back to bite you in the ass.

Okay, maybe you're downplaying the severity of the situation just a little bit, but what else are you supposed to do? Humor is the only coping mechanism you've got. You're quite literally being held hostage by Shigaraki right now, a fraction of a touch away from crumbling to nothingness.

"Answer me," Shigaraki glares, still keeping one finger outstretched to avoid activating his Quirk, although his grip is far from gentle. "It sounded like you already knew something about me, even though we'd only just met for the second time. The first time, we barely even exchanged a few words, so it wouldn't make any sense. Did you learn something about me somehow? Have you been digging up dirt since then? Looking into my life?"

Uhh...

The real answer to his question isn't one you could possibly use. Yes, of course you learned something about him. You learned practically everything about him—or at the very least, the most important things. His darkest, most defining moments. You've known all of that from the very beginning.

Naturally, when you were being attacked at USJ, beaten within an inch of your life by the Nomu, you weren't exactly thinking coherent thoughts. You accidentally said too much. Your sympathy towards Shigaraki, for how horribly his life was manipulated and twisted out of control, made you blurt out your true feelings. Even though that probably wasn't the best thing to do. Like, at all.

"Um, I'm sorry," you say, choosing your words as carefully as you can. "I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't know anything about you before we met again at USJ. As for why I apologized to you... I'm not sure. You just seemed like you were really upset. You seemed so angry. At the whole world."

Shigaraki's eyes narrow, in visible doubt. "You could have died. Your limbs were broken, but somehow, you expect me to believe you were more worried about me than yourself?"

Yeah... when he phrases it like that, it does sound weird. Although every part of you existing in this world, right from the moment of your birth, is utterly incomprehensible to begin with.

"I was worried about myself," you insist, wincing a bit as his fingers dig into your skin. "I was, but it seemed pretty much certain that you were going to kill me. Or that I was going to die from my injuries. If I was going to die anyway, I thought I might at least apologize to you. I hate the thought of having regrets. It wouldn't have sat right with me if I didn't at least say how I felt before it all came to an end."

It's hard to tell how much of that he actually believes, if any, because his expression remains every bit as cold-eyed and scrutinizing. In all fairness, though, what you're saying is the truth. No, you can't reveal how much about him you actually do know, but you wouldn't have apologized and bothered to say all those things if you didn't mean them.

However, Shigaraki Tomura is hardly the type who'd want to be pitied. Even if he does believe you, even if his suspicions are momentarily put to rest... what reason would he have to let you live? You've been doing your best not to think about the reality of things too much, not to panic and assume the worst, but truly, you can't imagine him sparing you out of the goodness of his heart. You can't imagine him just walking away from a future hero and letting this be water under the bridge.

Fuck. You're scared. No, not just scared—you're fucking terrified, and for good reason.

All this time, you've been trying to convince yourself that you won't die, because Chisaki would never allow such a thing. He already saved you from death once, he already healed what would have been permanent, life-altering injuries, so in a way, you suppose you've grown to think of him as your savior. Your dear, irreplaceable brother whose love for you can't even be put into words.