Tell Me That You Love Me

Something Has Changed

White sheets surround our bodies. Silk skin, tight grip as his hands tangle around my torso. His stubble is rough against my neck but his lips are all so gentle. His eyes read lust but his touch tells me love.
I turn. My heart is beating inhumanly fast as I nudge my face towards his morning lips. I swear, I swear I could feel the flutter of his breath on my mouth. If I had just moved that little bit closer, maybe...just maybe...

I awake though.
I awake to an empty pillow and a still warm space beside me - used by another man.
"Joey," Daniel exits the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.
I sit up. I feel my skin burn up, my stomach jerking in disgust at myself.
"Are you alright?" He asks as he quickly approaches me.
She sits at the edge of the bed and places a tender hand to my forehead.
"You're sweating, sweetie. Did you have a nightmare?"
I blink up at him. I see it then. I see how beautiful he really is. How his ebony hair is always flawless, even when it's dripping down the side of his face. How enchanting his eyes are. How his voice is laced with so much adoration but I don't-
I sit up quickly.
No, I do.
I do love him.
Suddenly, a cold glass is placed in my trembling palms.
"It's water." Daniel tells me as though I couldn't identify it myself.
"Sorry," I look him in the eyes. "I just...I don't feel like myself."
With this he places a finger beneath my chin and we kiss but as he pulls away, fear builds up within me.
Something had changed.

I can't get that dream I had about him.
I think it and my heart flutters with excitement, joy, an indescribable desire for him.
I can't think like this though.
I'm with Daniel.

Just as the reminder hits me, he steps back from walking ahead. He snatches my hand with a boyish grin marking his face. He sees my expression however and his smile falters.
"What's wrong?"
I somewhat stop.
Oh, shit...
"I...still feel sick." I murmur.
He doesn't appear convinced. He looks at me for a solid thirty seconds and I gulp, feeling as though he is rewatching my dream. The idea of him seeing me with another man and hurting from that was a little too much. I turn away, face flushing with the tension.
He takes the hint and we continue to stroll down the busy streets of LA. My hand is loose in his.

I had forgotten about Shane. I was laughing, rambling away to my boyfriend as though everything was fine.
It wasn't until we came home at 6PM after our day out that I was reminded.
My iPhone was switched off; for a good reason too.

I was constantly checking my text messages, my snapchat, my Twitter in case he had decided to talk to me.

I  was sitting in a restaurant when I was daydreaming about him texting me. I imagined him flicking through our conversation with a smirk. One of those slow smirks were he tries to fight it but it's s untameable; the smirk becomes a shy grin. He would be leaning forward, biting his lip for concentration. That's when he decided to text me.
He would start writing it;
Joey, listen I know this might sound crazy and I know we're just friends but I think I...
I didn't finish my fantasy. I told Daniel to turn my phone off and put it in his rucksack.

I didn't expect however to have 5 missed calls from him when I arrived home.
I locked myself in the bathroom door as soon as I saw this and dialled his number without another thought.
My mind was racing. My bloodstream was bubbling up like a can on coke bursting to be set free.
"Shane," My voice had croaked and I instantly cleared it out in one harsh cough.
I then wasted no time. I rambled on telling him I was out all day with Daniel, that I turned off my phone. I told him I wasn't ignoring him and if everything was alright. I told him I cared. I told him I was there for him.
Then I drew out a breath and allowed the silence to sink in.
"I mean I...I don't know, I feel like I'm...bothering you?"
"You're not."
I could feel him sigh and shuffle around uncomfortably on the other end of the call.
"You're busy." He stated.
"I'm not. I have time."

Again, there was a long pause before a simple yet terrifying idea smacked me in the face.
No...I can't.
Sure you can.
But... Daniel was planning on-
Shane is hurting right now and he told you yesterday that you were the only one he could talk to.
You're right.
So...you're going to risk it?
"Shane, where are you right now?"
"Home. Why?"
I open the bathroom door.
"Because I'm coming over." I informed him.

I was nervous.
Fuck, I was nervous.
My hands were shaking as I drove up the already darkened lanes of his neighbourhood.
I parked outside his home and with a heavy gulp, I got out.
I hesitated when I arrived at his door. I could feel my pulse travel through my limbs making it impossible to walk without stumbling.
What was wrong with me?
Shane's my friend. I've been here a million times before.
I knock and almost instantly the door opens.
There stood is a tired looking man; wild hair springing in his eyes, a tear in the neck of his t-shirt.
His blue iris' widen and he stutters as though surprised I actually turned up. 
"Are you...okay?" I ask.
He relaxes.
"Get in," He steps aside and I laugh as I stroll past him.

He sits beside me without eye contact but I move in closer. He blinks up at me when my hands collide to his back.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
His expression is smothered in affliction.
"I just...I think,"
I await with a pleading heart.
Is this it? Is he going to confess that-
"I just hate myself." He finishes and instantly my stomach drops.
I drag him into my arms and cradle him against me.
There and then I wanted to tell him how beautiful I thought he was. How inspirationally creative he is. How his eyes ignite when he's excited. How naturally hilarious he is.
We pulled away and we stared at one another for a moment or two.
It wasn't until then I realised I was in love with Shane Dawson.

*      *      *

Thank you so much for the support so far! I'm so glad people still ship Shoey!

Shoutout to Janice_Dawceffa for helping me gain reads on my fanfiction. Her book Fifty Shades Of Shoey is amazing.
Give her a follow💕

Chloe