Protected

Giving up

         Sweat trickled down my neck and I sighed. Carson and I had been sitting in this heat for what felt like forever, but was really only 3 days, traveling from Alabama to Cali. The pain in my arm had filled to a harsh throb, and I had no moe tears to cry. I am numb to everything.
The trailer came to a stop and sunlight burst in as the door was slammed open.
"Rise and shine." Boss sang out. "Follow me, Smalls prepared a room for you."
We walked in, me cradling my arm and Carson with his arm around me. I glanced around the house they had now.
"Well it's definitely not a barn," I said, as I observed the nice furniture and fixtures. We were escorted to a room upstairs, where Smalls was standing.
"Alexia! Your arm!" He gasped. "What happened?"
"I um, I was-" Figuring it'd be better not to blame Boss, I said, "I tripped and fell pretty badly."
"Well let's get you taken care of!" Smalls exclaimed.
"No, that won't be necessary Smalls." Boss said. "She will not be needing assistance. It's a good lesson about not running away. If you so much as give her a painkiller and I find out, you're already dead."
And he left. Smalls looked at me and shrugged sadly.
"I guess there goes that." He said apologetically. "I don't dare go against him, even sneakily. He'll find out." Smalls turns and exits, calling back, "We'll be here for two weeks."
I shudder.  "At the end of this we'll have been captured for 11 weeks. Two and three-fourths months. And then Mexico." I grimace. "My arm won't heal. It's freakin' shattered. Waiting for this to get better does not sound fun,if it ever heals."
The only reason I wasn't crying at this point was because I had no more tears to cry.
"Don't worry, it'll heal. Here." Carson said. He reached up to the sleeves of his t-shirt and ripped them off so that it was now a tank top. Tying the two strips of cloth, he gently took my good arm.
"Now look at me, Lexi. This is going to hurt like fire, but it'll help you in the next few weeks. Ok? I'm going to fashion a sling so you can rest your arm."
I nodded, and gritted my teeth with my eyes shut. He took my broken arm, and bent it where the elbow should have been.
Pain exploded up my arm and I cried out but he didn't stop.
"Carson! Carson ouch! Stop it! Stop!" But he didn't. He deftly wrapped the strips of cloth around my shoulder, so my arm rested against my body. It looked pretty good, not really like a normal sling but it worked the same way.
I jerked away from him when he was done, shrieking. "Why didn't you stop? I told you to stop!"
He looked at me and said, "Lexi. I am not apologizing because it will help you. Do you understand?"
I knew I was being selfish, but he had brought the pain back up and it hadn't hurt this badly in 4 days.
"No! I don't! You hurt me! It was awful! It felt like you were breaking it again!" I was hysterical at this point and Carson reached out his arms to me.
"Lexi it's okay." He said.
"NO! " I shouted. He recoiled. "Don't touch me! You've helped quite enough! I don't want anything else ruined!" Tears sprang to my eyes and I turned away.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Carson standing there, his hands at his side. The look on his face sent a pang through me, but I wasn't thinking clearly and I turned away instead of going to him.

              There was space between us now. Carson wouldn't look at me or speak to me, and it got very boring. He ate his meals with his back to me and left me whenever he could.
I tried to speak to him, but it was like he was deaf. At one point he said to me, "Lex. It's ok. You don't have to keep forcing yourself to be with me. I'll survive without you."
Then he'd turned and walked away. I felt a pang in my chest. Please no. Don't let him leave me. I couldn't bear it.

          I was sitting outside on the porch trying to eat my lunch with one hand. I'd lost a ton of weight since I broke my arm, I wasn't eating enough because Carson wasn't helping me. I was right-handed and that's the arm that broke. I just couldn't get the hang of being lefty.
I glance into the backyard and notice Carson sitting, facing the back corner of the fence.
I put down my food and tiptoe up to him. I touched him on the shoulder. "Hey." He jerked and moved away. I casually knelt down next to him. "Carson."
He refused to look at me. I reached over, cupped his chin in my good hand and turned his face to me. "Please Carson. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was upset and in pain and hysterical. I really didn't mean it."
He lifted his eyes to meet mine and swallowed.
"Lexi, when people are hurt is when their real feelings come out. All you did was show yours. It's my fault that they don't match to what I wish they were." He lowered his eyes, I still held his chin.
"Carson that's not true. Please. You're believing a lie. Do you think if I meant it I would still be trying to get you to come back to me?"
His eyes flickered up to mine. "I never left you." His tears spilled over. "It's been killing me to handle everything alone, but clearly it's for the better." He shook my hand from his chin, got up, and walked away. I was left with a fence, a shattered arm, and a broken heart.