Hetalia X Reader Oneshots~

Russia x Reader- Failed pick up lines

This was originally going to be put in a Russia x Fem!America fic that I may or may not be working on, but I decided to just use it for here d:
*Hint, Hint. Wink, wink. NUDGE, NUDGE.*

((Agggggghhhh!!!! So much reader's block ;~;))

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~~~~Reader-Chan's P.O.V~~~~~

I bound down the hallways of the meeting building, searching for a certain Russian. For the past few weeks I had been working on different ways I could get Ivan to recognize that I like him, but in like, a totally non-direct way. My plan was to just give him tiny hints and just hope for the best, which hadn't been working out so well. So now my only hope of ever getting Ivan to know I like him without telling him directly is to do one more thing. Corny. Freaking. Pickup lines. You heard me, pick up lines.

"But author-chan, pickup lines are so dumbbbbb!"
"Shush child, I am in control of where this story goes. Go back to flirting with Russia."

I mutter a few things under my breath, regaining my AWESOME posture. I suddenly spot him not too far away, standing alone in the hallway. I put on a grin, skipping over to my crush.
"IIIIIIVannnnn~!" I smile happily, receiving a small smile in return.
"Privet, _____!" He looks down at me, wearing his childish smile. Gosh how his smile killed me.
"Can you get me a map?...." I begin, grinning up at him innocently.
"Why? Did sunflower forget hers at home?" He chuckles softly.
"Nah, it's just that I'm lost in your eyes~!" I sing cheerily. The man pauses for a few seconds before laughing.
"That is a funny joke, Da?" He pats my head.
"N-no...That's...." I scratch my arm nervously, blushing a bit.
"I just meant that you have nice eyes." I shift a bit, twiddling my thumbs.
"That is nice of sunflower." He grins. "I also think you have pretty, (e/c) eyes." He pats my head, letting out a low chuckle. I blush slightly, puffing out my cheeks.
He's too oblivious....
"I must go now, goodbye." He ruffles my hair slightly, walking out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~A few hours later~~~~

"I swear Eliza, he's like, too oblivious." I pout into Elizabeta's couch pillow.
"Maybe you should just tell him." She murmurs, holding a phone in her hands.
"Nooo! Then I'll come off as desperate."
"You kinda are desperate." She lifts an eyebrow and looks over me. I cross my arms and slouch back into the couch.
"Ya think...?" I ask quietly.
"Yea." Eliza sighs and rolls her eyes. "You may as well just fess up."
I let out a sigh, patting down my skirt.
"Fine. I will." I take a deep breath, opening the door. "Thanks for the advice, Eliza."

~~~~~~~~~~~TO RUSSIA'S HOOOUUSE

I take a deep breath, mustering all the courage I could possibly obtain to knock on his door. Immediately it opens, revealing Lithuania.
"Oh, hello (c/n.) What brings you here?" He smiles, tilting his head slightly.
"Oh, um," I hesitate, twiddling my thumbs."____ is fine, and I came to talk to Ivan." I receive a nod. Toris opens the door wider, letting me inside.
"Ok, Mr. Russia is in the living room." He nods to me, taking my coat and shutting the door.
"Thank you, Toris." I smile and walk towards ivan's living room, spotting him reading a book by his fireplace.

"Ivan!" I grin, walking up behind him. He looks up, smiling at me. I blink, blushing a bit. The tall man gets to his feet, turning towards me.

"Hungary called a few minutes ago." ^J^

I gasp silently, internally screaming to kill her. I nervously laugh, my blush growing.

"Y-Yeah? And what did she s-say?"
"That you think my rear is nice." ^J^
"O-oH? And w-what does that mean, exactly..? He he-" My eye twitches and I begin to tap my fingers on my side. "T-That could mean anything.... Like your car's rear, or like... Rear in my country means... Um... Furniture. Yes." I laugh slightly, looking around the room.
"Oh?" He blinks, still smiling childishly.
"Y-Yeeeesss." I say slowly, nodding slightly.
"So, butt means furniture?" ^J^
I blush furiously, recalling the pages in my diary... Which I had left at Hungary's house. It was also the last page I had written;

~~~
Today was great!
I got to sit by Russia at the meeting, so that was awesome! He even said hello to me!
He's so adorable, and hot, and he has a nice butt d;

~~~
"B-Bu- YES. It means...Furniture..." I try to cover my face with my hair, biting my lip and lowering my gaze slightly.
The man lifts an eyebrow, putting a gloved hand on my shoulder.
"I suppose I do have nice furniture, da?" ^J^
"Yes, your butt- FURNITURE- is nice, heh." I smile.
"Amerika does not like my butt. Maybe I shall tell him it nice, da?"
"NO!"
I put up my hands, shaking my head.
Thank goodness he doesn't speak English very well....
"Why not?"
"Because... Butt in my country means... Two different things."
"Oh?"
"Yes."
"

I see... So saying it could be misleading?"
"Precisely." I let out a small breath, smiling back up at him, face still a bit red.
I run a hand through my hair.
"You have a nice butt too. Your interior design is very nice." ^J^
I laugh nervously, my eye twitching.
"Yes, it is."

~~~~~

You decide what happens next in your imaginations *-*
Sorry I took so long, but some stuff has been going on, plus I'm lazy. XD