Complacent Dreamers

Die alone

My head tried to wrap around the fact that Marshall had just overdosed. I left New York late last night just to see him and ever since I touched base in Warren, I haven't heard from him since. Kim was here crying obviously, along with Hailie who was still dressed in her pajamas. Proof held his face in his hands and the rest of the guys had just left seeing as they'd been here since yesterday. "I can't believe he would do something so stupid. I mean we barely have enough to support Hai, now I have to pay a damn hospital bill." Kim ranted. I just tapped my foot over and over trying to hide my tears. "This is crazy." Kim kept on, and the more she talked the more I wanted to huddle up and cry. "All I wanted was for him to be there for Hai. If I put stress on him I didn't know.  I mean how am I? I'm basically a kid trying to raise one."  Hailie was so gorgeous. She had her mother's cheeks and her dad's eyes. She reminded me of Cinderella in some ways as I played with her fingers. "I'm gonna drop Hailie off with Dawn okay? If the doctors come out tell them i'm in the bathroom kay?" I smiled and nodded as she strapped Hai into a car seat. "You okay D?" I asked, scooting over towards him. "Yea i'm chill B. I'm glad you here." He looked up at me with worn eyes and I nearly bawled at the sight of him. "Yeah well someone has to keep up with the crazy right?" We both shared a laugh that slowly turned to a cry for him. "It's alright D." I rubbed his back as he dried. "He's my best friend Isabella. If I die tomorrow I would've been dead for him. He don't deserve no shit like this man." I nodded and thought about how bad things got so quick. I shouldn't have gone to college, I should've just stayed in Detroit for Marshall. "You want something from the cafeteria?" He sniffled. I shook my head as he left and made sure he was gone before I started crying, something I find myself doing a lot lately. 

"Family of Marshall Mathers?" The nurse came out and i wiped my tears to address her. "Kim is in the bathroom." I cried, and she grabbed my hand. "Right this way dear." She led me into a room where Marshall was connected to tubes and a monitor and she left once i was inside. 

"Oh Marshall what did you do to yourself?" I laid my head on his chest and sobbed. "I should've stayed home. I'll drop out of college if you wake up Mickey. I know I wasn't always the best friend, but i'm trying M. Hai came to see you too, look what you're putting her through Mickey. Look what you're putting me through." I just cried. I didn't want him to die. I never got a chance to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him. "What you crying for?" I sniffled when he spoke, and I noticed the tear falling from his eye. "You're crying too Mickey."I wiped away his single tear and he touched my hand and held it towards his face. "I love you so much." He cried more and I had to stay strong for him. "Stop." I gulped and he closed his eyes. "When I get outta here, i'm gonna be different. They- imma make em listen to me." I nodded and stroked his arm with my thumb. "When you get outta here, i'm gonna drop out of College."

"Nah man, you're so close to being done just finish."

"I wanna be there for you, and my niece." I giggled wiping away my own tears. "I want you here too. We're gonna be famous B." I smiled and Proof entered the room with a mouth full of food. "Then it's settled. We're gonna make everybody scream Eminem." He smiled and his grip on my hand loosened and I left him and Proof to talk. 

I decided to stop by my parents house. I hadn't seen them in a while, and I was kind of hoping the address was still the same.  I knocked on the door, rocking on my heels. Kat answered, her red hair sprawled over her head. When she saw me she nearly cried. She pulled me into the tightest hug ever and rubbed along my back. "Oh honey how are you?" She smiled at me. "I'm good i'm good. Is my dad here?"

"Yeah he's playing video games with your new brother." She smirked. I stepped into the house, and it looked same as when I left. The kitchen was still small, the only difference in the house was that they converted my room into a boy's bedroom. My brother was quite the charmer. He looked 16 or maybe younger. His hair was dark, and his eyes were the same shade of green as mines. We could've really been brother and sister. He was tall and bulky like a jock almost. He had this bad guy look to him, like he came from a troubled home before he joined ours. My dad was too into his game to notice me so Kat nudged him on the arm. "Hey." I smiled, and he smiled back so big I thought his face was gonna fall off. "I missed you so much Isabella!" I laughed as he kissed me on my cheek and forehead. I sat down on a barstool, and grabbed a beer, as usual, and sat by me. "You here for the week or?"

"Umm actually I think i'm here forever now."

"Oh hun, what happened?"

"There was a problem with Marshall, and I wanna be here for him you know. And Kim she needs me too so yeah I think i'm gonna stick around." "Oh but what about those friends of yours uh what's their names, Grayson and Cameron?"

"They'll understand. Plus they'll probably come to visit so it's cool." Kat nodded, and my dad turned to my brother. "Hey, Brayden, this is Bella, your sister we're always talking about." Brayden turned to me from the couch and barely smiled as I did to him. Attitude much. "Brayden's in 10th grade. His teachers love him because of you. He's Mr. Henry's favorite student matter of fact." I nodded, and stared at my parents. "Umm I was wondering if I could stay here while i'm trying to figure things out. I'll probably just end up buying my own place, but until I go back to New York to get my stuff I need somewhere to stay sooo..."

"You can stay here however long you want hun. We made peach cobbler earlier if you want any."

"No that's fine, i'm just going to head to bed i'm kinda tired so."

"Alright babe, have a good night." My dad said. I yawned while hugging them both, and glancing at Brayden. He saw me looking too and he smiled before I turned away. Something was off about him. Either he was flirting with his sister, or he just was really friendly which I doubt was the answer. I laid down on the couch in Brayden's room, and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. So much has changed since I first got here till now. It seems like yesterday I was in my dads truck asleep to the sound of country music. I just wanted things to be like then. Where I had the guys, and the girls, and my mom and dad to myself. And Cory. That was probably the hardest thing I had to go through. I tried to act like I wasn't fazed by his decision, but it ate me alive every second of every day. Was I not good enough like angel? Was Ronnie not good enough for that girl he was messing with. I couldn't wait until Marshall became famous. Life would be so much better for his daughter, for me, for his friends. It'd be like old times again when we wouldn't have to worry about anything and the weight of the world wouldn't be on all of our shoulders. God, those would be the days.