Complacent Dreamers

After So Long

1997•
It's been three years since I graduated. The first year was amazing, I met new friends, Grayson, he was like my gay best friend, and he studied cosmetics, but still found time to wander into the literary building. Then there was Cameron, she was the hottest African American ever (no homo) she was really into modeling but dropped out and joined me in writing. I visited home only for holidays, and when I did show Marshall was never around, I was always around Cory and Proof while they worked on new material. My parents were working on adopting and I was all for it since I had no siblings whatsoever, and id never met my family.

Cory and I broke up during my second year in college because he fell in love with some girl named Angel who worked at White Castle. I wasn't all that bummed out mainly because I never saw him and I didn't like the long distance stuff. I found my own condo with Grayson and Cameron. Marshall had a daughter. Hailie Jade Mathers Scott. Born December 25, 1995. I was kind of hurt to know he had a kid. Especially since it was for Kim. I've met Hailie only once when she was first born but rather than that she was a stranger to me and I'm kinda guessing Marshall was too.

He turned to drugs and alcohol and his demeanor just became all wrong. He became this slim shady character who didn't care who you were as long as you stayed the fuck away from him. He had an album out called Infinite and was working on an Ep I heard through Proof. Tonight was a campus party and while I was attending, it was only to get my social status to increase.

"Loosen up Izzy," Grayson, Cameron, and me were all cooped up in my room mirror fixing our makeup before the party. "I know you're still upset about Cory, I can tell, but you can't let it prevent you from having a perfect college experience." I laughed and Grayson helped me curl my hair.

"I don't care about Cory you guys, we dated for almost two years and he decided to dump me for some skank I really don't care." They hugged my shoulders and I cried. I could taster he bitterness of my tears and bit hard on the inside of my cheek. "I loved him. I completely abandoned all feelings for Marshall for Cory and he freaking has sex with some minor?!" They wiped under my eyes with tissue and fixed my makeup. "How about this, tomorrow, after classes, we'll get tattoos?" Cameron suggested.

So it was settled. Tomorrow at seven on the dot we were all getting tattoos. I didn't know what I was getting yet honestly, but I wanted something for my family. Like a symbol. I glanced at all three of us who were touching up on our outfits. I wore a long sleeved cocktail dress that hugged my waist perfectly. I wore black peep-toe hills and my makeup was simple. A nude lip with heavy mascara and eyeshadow to highlight my olive drab eye color. My hair was in short black curls and I he two braid wrapping around and held together in the middle of my curly mop with a black diamond pendant. Grayson wore a flannel with bedazzled workman boots and Cameron kept it simple with a long white tee and black skinny jeans with a lot of jewelry and makeup. We headed out to the football field where the party was being held.

There were keg stands scattered and a table for food and drinks. Music played from the announcer stand and people were already drunk before the party even began. I so wasn't feeling this. I just wanted to go home and study for the test in Professor Radisson's class. I didn't wanna get drunk, I just wanted to go home. Back to Detroit. Back where my dad was and Kat. Back where The Shelta was and where Marshall had a feud with Kid Rock. I had memories there.

We escalated further into the party and I lost it as soon as I had my first drink. I loved the burning feeling it sent down my throat and as I gurgled down like my seventh cup of alcohol I started getting hazy. My body swayed to the music in my head and everything became bright to me. I liked the rush of being drunk and I think my friends could tell.

"OH MY GOSH! SOMEONE GET ME ANOTHER DRINK!" I giggled and Grayson laughed his face off while chatting it up with some guy. I held my head trying to stop the internal dizziness but no matter what I did I couldn't control how heavy my body reacted to the drinks I'd had. I didn't feel guilty though. This was my moment to let everything go, to be Bella the wild child and not Isabella the girl who grew up in Detroit Michigan after her stepmother threw them out. Not Isabella, the girl whose mom died from an asthma attack when she was only seven years old.

My mom did this. She made me who I am by leaving me, this was all her fault! Not mine. "Bella, someone wants to talk to you." I looked over to see Cam by..i couldn't believe it. I couldn't. Proof.

"DeShaun?!" I screamed, running through the wet field grass to get to him. "Bella. Damn I missed yo ass." He squeezed me tight and I let tears fall onto the sleeve of his grey shirt. His dreads were cut off and he had a clean shave to his face. Gosh I missed him.

"What are you doing here?!" I laughed. "I'm here with a special friend working on some music stuff."

"Whose the friend?" I giggled. "Come back to my hotel and I'll show you." My eyes for big and the lowered. "Under one circumstance," I laughed at him. "You carry me!" He picked me up bridal style and we were then on our way to his hotel.

Marshall->>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I let my body relax after driving all day to get to damn New York. My eyes felt so dilated and red that they were hard to keep open on this stuff ass bed. Proof was out getting food for us so we could work on some tracks for the new song. Some studio said they heard my music and said itd be cool if we used their studio to record some tracks.

I couldn't stop thinking about my daughter. Really and truly she was the only girl I loved if not Bella who I hadn't seen in almost ages. I loved how she held onto me and how her chubby cheeks would rub against mine when she was sleepy. Damn I loved my little girl.

The doorknob clicked and I saw Proof come in with McDonalds and a girl standing patiently at his side. Her eyes widened when she saw me and I swear I saw a fucking tear fall from her eyes. Shit. I didn't know who the fuck she was. Her hair was a dark black but you could still see the brown roots. Her facial features were soft and kid like, like she was 21 or something. She was dressed up nice and then I looked at her left wrist that was covered in ink.

Bella.

Proof stood there smiling at me but I know that's not the reaction I wore and neither did she. "Oh my God...Marshall." She started sobbing right there in front of me and I didn't even know what to say to her. The last time I actually saw her was when we kissed at her 12th grade prom. I Remember how soft her lips were abs how good it felt to hold her. Fuck. She backed out of the room and Proof followed her outside into the hotel while I placed my ear to the shut door.

Isabella->>>>>>
I couldn't stop crying. Its like I saw my mom in ghost form except it wasn't my mom and it definitely wasn't a ghost. It was Marshall in the flesh, blond hair and red blue eyes. Tatted up and probably just coming off of a high. Proof hugged me to him as my back was to the wall. "Why would you- you brought him w-oh my God!" I cried as DeShaun sighed into my shoulder.

"I brought him because you guys used to be so fucking close and once you went off it changed both of you. Look at you Bells. You're fucked up and you probably don't even write anymore like you used to. Then look at him, he's been a fucking addict for three straight years now and he ain't quitting, not even now that he has a lil girl at home. You two changed each other and I wanna see a change back." As he spoke I could her myself choking on words to say. This was surreal. Not like a nightmare, not like a dream, but more like a sleep walk filled with all my fears. "I...oh my God." It was all I could say, because seeing him made me wanna just get on my knees and plead to God.

I felt the hotel door open and I jumped back when I seen him come out.Proof pulled off me and my lip quivered as he winked at Marshall before closing the door. "Marshall I-" he didn't even say anything, he just pulled me into his arms and shhd me. I felt him kiss my forehead and wipe my tears away. "I'm here now baby. I'm here."