Complacent Dreamers

Say Goodbye To HollyWood

October 13, 1988

I sat on the wooden, rocking chair, who's thin hairs poked my thighs through the fabric of my t-length dress. The wind blew through my russet hair like waves washing up on shore. My olive drab colored eyes could barely stay open by the thick water droplets falling from the gutter of my stepmothers shaggy house.

My mom died of an asthma attack a couple years ago actually. It was on my seventh birthday. I watched as she gasped and choked for air that I couldn't give her. My fingers almost died by how tight I was bawling my fist. To the point where my knuckles were white as the blankets of ice covering the trees. I didn't know if I should've been mad that my father preferred to get drunk on my birthday or if I should be confused that just two hours ago I caught my mother swapping spit with my gym teacher. I guess I should've caught the hints she was throwing at me. Putting on extra perfume before dropping me to school and wearing the fanciest of clothes. I thought they were traps. To catch my dad off guard when he went to go get wasted like always. It hit hard with me because Mr.Henry was the only teacher I could trust, mainly because all the other teachers gave free A's. Mainly because if they didn't the whole class would fail and who wants a group of sweaty seven year olds two years in a row.

I was different though. I enjoyed reading and math. I liked science but ElA and writing was my particular favorite. I loved literature like no other and it's weird that I've never held a Journal in my life. I usually write on my arm or tissue. My stepmother hates when I do that though. She's highly Catholic and doesn't believe in writing on yourself. She says it blocks God's blessings or something. Unlike my dad. I don't think he's been to church a day in his life but he prays when times are tough. Right now he's the closest thing I have to a parent. Autumn, my stepmother isn't a parent. She's too young. Twenty three isn't the age to be a parent if you ask me but my dad married her for a reason. Her money.

That's what we needed and he saw an opportunity and took it. See, Autumn's parents are music producers in Atlanta and I have no knowledge on why Autumn moved from Atlanta to live in Flint, Washington. I guess lights and crowded streets aren't her thing. I watched the dark blue silk blanket we call the sky, be dotted with bright stars and silence. The only thing that made noise were crickets and the loud screams and swigs from my dad and Autumn. "Maybe you need to stop drinking and notice the good you have!" I heard her yell. It shot an uneasy feeling in me and I pulled out a pilot pen and rubbed my soft, forearm.

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought. Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea; But we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me.

In my best cursive I wrote and tried not to shudder when my dad and Autumn spewed venom at each other and caused the house to shake too. I was scared that she would see my arm and wipe it off. Edgar Allen Poe was one of my favorites and if I lost that I lost almost everything I adored most. I hugged myself and opened the screen door slowly. Wind blew in my face and I saw Autumn glance at me when I wiped hair from my face. "Isabella!" She yanked my arm and squeezed it causing me to whimper in her hold. "Let go of her!" My dad shouted. "What the hell is this?! See you have me cursing! No child in my house will do this! Wipe it off!" I shook my head and her nails raked into my skin and I saw the skin slowly rip. I yanked my hand back and she caught it making my dad act to get her off me.

"Bella go get your clothes and stuff. We can't stay here any longer." I wasn't surprised we were moving. I was surprised he hadn't done it earlier. I slid off my dress. I hated wearing clothes like this. I wanted to wear pants and a jacket for once. I slipped on black, polyester pants that had two thin, white strips on the side. I put on a white t and a dark red jacket that was really faded, I slipped on a dark blue beanie and put my hoodie over it, letting my hair hang on each side of my head.