Adrenaline Racer

Chapter 17

My hands were grease covered, searching around the engine. It felt like old times again, except for that one thing. I sigh and push the thought out of my mind.

The door to my garage was open, letting in all the sunlight from the outside world. I glance out of it.

People raced back and forth, cleaning and practicing. The crew were fixing up repairs on the race cars, the racers were walking around with bottles of water in their hands.

I push my body away from the edge of the car hood, backing up a little. I turn to the counter, grabbing a greasy rag. I wipe my hands on it as best I could, before chucking it back down on the counter.

I don't even hear the footsteps as he walks in. I feel warm arms around my waist, a head on my shoulder. I turn, and see Ashton watching my hands carefully.

I can't help but smile at him.

But then, everything felt wrong. My smile slips away, and a sad air surrounded me. My entire body felt hollow.

"Ash," I say, pulling free of his grip. I turn away from him, towards the race car. I grab a wrench off the counter without a second thought, stopping at the hood of the car.

Ashton stands at the same spot, watching me with his hands hanging limply at his sides. He looks at me with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, Ash," I say, looking at the wrench confused, before setting it on the rolling table near the car, "but I can't..."

Ash takes steps closer, closing up the space between us carefully. He stops beside me, looking down into the dirty engine of the car.

"Why not, Luna?" He asks. I straighten my body, and see how close Ashton is to me. I back away, before pushing past him and stopping at the counter. I run my fingers through my hair as I try to sort out the emotions in my head.

I set both hands down on the wooden counter top, taking in a sharp breath.

"Because," I say, never looking up from the table, "I have a..." I trail off, knowing what I was going to say wasn't true anymore.

"Had," Ashton mumbles, just loud enough for me to catch. I squeeze my eyes shut.

What was wrong with me? I couldn't deny these feelings for him, I knew that. But this was all... Wrong.

Tears threaten my vision. Just when I thought I was over it, that it was the least of my worries, it came back like a ghost. It was always there, that feeling of emptiness.

And I began I sob hard. The tears were now falling down, plopping on the counter table one by one. My heads formed fists on the wood, digging into it hard. I wiped furiously at my eyes, but more tears took the spot after I wiped them away.

"Hey," Ashton says softly, seeing my shoulders shake. He walks over to me in a few steps, and his arms a rope around my body before I know it.

He turns me around gently, so my head rested nicely on his chest. His arms envelope my shoulders, his thumb rubbing gently on my shoulder.

I sob into his shirt, burying my nose in his chest. My hands balled up his shirt in my fists. I could feel his arms tighten around me, could hear his heartbeat, faintly.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, after a long moment of silence, "I shouldn't have said anything."

My eyes flew open. Ashton apologizing? And for something he didn't even do?

I sniff, wiping my eyes while still staying in his arms. It felt safe and secure, something I haven't felt in a while.

I pull my head off of him, looking up at his bright blue eyes. He smiled at me, carefully lifting his hand to wipe away the tears trailing makeup down my cheeks.

His hand freezing on my face, he looks me in the eyes. I could feel his fingers at the base of my ear, his thumb just barely on my cheek.

And before I know it, I had leaned up and closed the space between us. My lips were pressed into his, his hand still on my face. His eyes are wide with surprise, but eventually he gives into the kiss, and his eyes close slowly. I can feel his lips curve into a smile.

My hands become tangled in his short blonde hair, and his are at the base of my neck, close to my shoulders.

This was wrong. Why was this wrong? What would Aaron think?

I pulled away finally, maybe a little too quickly. Ashton's eyes snap open, and a look of shock crosses his face. My head turns instantly to the forum, my hand rubbing my arm in awkwardness.

Ash's hand reaches down and tilts my head  up to meet his gaze. That still charming smirk is on his face.

"Its okay," he says to me quietly. A smile crosses my face.

And I didn't care what Aaron thought anymore. I didn't care about the feeling of something always being wrong when I was around Ashton.

I was just going to have to face the facts. I was moving on.