What He Really Did

6) Bittersweet Moments

*Lyrics*

Happy Never After by Meagan and Liz (YouTube)

•I thought we'd always be happy.

•I thought you'd always be good for me.

•I guess I was wrong.

•And you get to be my happy, happy, happy never after.

*End of Lyrics*

In a way I think Nick limits everything I do now.

I used to just easily talk to guys, even if I didn't like them. Just as buddies.

Now it just seems like I fear them thinking I like them and that I'm some desperate girl.

Is that how Nick looked at me?

A desperate girl who wouldn't stop talking to him, that he just asked out to shut up.

I can practically hear the voices saying "Don't think that Selena!" or "He was just a douche that said those things to get to you."

But I can't help but also listen to that voice saying, "But you are that desperate. Willing to let Sarah keep asking if he likes you? No wonder he thought you were desperate."

Come on we all have that stupid, partially realistic voice in the back of our mind.

Yesterday, April 23,2013 I saw him.

Nick, for the first time since our trip almost a week ago.

And it wasn't a pleasant time.

"Ah! Seth!" he exaggerated.

I rolled my eyes.

I even clench my jaw just thinking about it.

But I haven't seen him all day and I was determined to keep it that way.

I was in science. My favorite class because well...

"Come on Selena let's find a seat." Kevin said, putting an arm around me. We got new table arrangements.

I stood there with a goofy grin and took his arm off. "Funny." I laughed.

God I loved his arm around me. But no one could know I enjoyed it. I'd never live it down.

He ended up sitting behind me. Kevin's always kinda behind me huh? Hahaha.

We talked a lot.

Just random things.

"Hondo's being all pissy since I told him off yesterday. He's just a cry baby." He whispered to me, brown eyes piercing into mine. God he'd be the death of me.

"You just noticed that?" I laughed.

"Well no but..." he trailed on, laughing.

Hondo looked at me. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

Kevin started talking again, putting his head in the way of my view of Hondo.

I started laughing.

Kevin looked at me oddly.

"Sorry it's just- you were talking about him and- you just- never mind." I laughed.

I have no idea why its funny.

The bell rang. I guess seeing Nick ruined my day a bit but it can always get brighter...

***

4-25-13

Today was not the day Nick Carter.

You f*ck with me today I swear to God you'll regret it.

I mean god I can't even walk the goddamn stairs without getting insulted by you or Seth!