White Tulips and Daisies

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

"Can you really give up these twins?" Build asked, lips shaking and voice cracking.

Wichapas looked down and grabbed Build's hands that were resting on the blanket. He never spoke but he squeezed Build's palm, eyes still looking at their combined hands. Build's tears fell on the back of his palm.

"They are your blood and flesh." Build cried out. "You made them. You are their father. H-how..."

Wichapas looked up. It breaks him seeing Build all tears and sobbing. He almost stood up and left but hearing the loud sobs from Build, he could not even let go of his hand.

"Again, I will always choose you. Whatever it is, I will always choose you." Wichapas rested his forehead on Build's. "You are the air I breathe. You are the reason why I am alive. If I lose you, I'll be dead. How can I take care of them? I'll be useless. We need you. I need you more than anything else."

Build cried louder. He is also troubled. Build doesn't know what would be the best for them. He wants to be with them but he wants to see them grow as well. And Blue, how about Blue? How about his son? If Build let go of the twins, what kind of father would he be? He will have a heavy heart for the rest of his life. And these are twins. Not just one but two lives depending on him - on them.

"You love them, don't you?" Build suddenly asked, closing his eyes.

Wichapas moved away, enough to see the reaction on his partner's face.

"I do, of course." He whispered, confused, on Build's question.

"Then," Build opened his eyes, full of tears. Those eyes that are always bright and smiling are now full of pain and fear. "I want to keep the twins."

"Love..."

"Whether I die or not, we will keep the twins. I will follow the doctor's instructions. All the precautions. I'll eat my meals. I'll drink all the medications. I will do my best to keep them healthy."

"Build."

Build almost stopped breathing as Wichapas spoke his name. He never heard it coming from him in a long time. The authority in his voice says it all. Wichapas is wearing out his own patience.

"If we give up on them, even if I make it, my soul will die too." Build cried out, burying his face in his hands. His shoulder shook from immense crying.

The sobs creeped out on Wichapas' bones and nerves. He can't even bear to see Build like this. Conflicted, he hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry." Wichapas choked, tears falling on his own cheeks for the first time in this conversation. "I'm a bad father, aren't I?"

Build looked up at him, eyes questioning.

"Before and now, I always make bad decisions when it comes to your pregnancy. I'm sorry."

Build hugged him back, face resting on the other's chest. "No. I know you just cared for me. I love you."

Wichapas kissed the top of his head. "I love you so much."

They agreed to continue the pregnancy. Dr. Cherry seems to be conflicted about their decision but she understands. With that, Build was called for a complete bed rest as much as possible. He is not allowed to leave the bed until he regains his health. It was still the same. He vomits frequently, has a hard time sleeping and most of the time is in pain. It has been weeks since then and everything is becoming harder than expected. Blue never left his Papa's side. Sometimes, Wichapas caught his son looking at his Papa while the latter was sleeping. The kid was so worried. Even though he already has his own room, he always falls asleep in his parents' room. Wichapas never left the house as well. All his outside errands, Prem is doing it for him. Than continue to run the business and take over Build's position.