Say Yes Part One: Doing it all over again

Jess

This feels really weird. It's exasperating. Draining.

I really could not understand why I still showed up today. After the fiasco that Arthur brought up on our last meeting, I do ask myself, what the fuck am I still doing here? To tell you the truth, abot langit ang galit ko kay Arthur. I still can't stand how he could still have the audacity to approach me after he murdered my material. Gawin ba namang uod yung main character ng story ko? Uod? What was he thinking? Proud pa talaga siya sa ginawa niya. Huwaaaw! Pakainin ko kaya 'tong gagong ito ng uod?

What really is stressing me out is the way that I could not really get even with that SOB. Sabotage? Kanina ko pa pinag-iisipan kung paano ko isasabotahe itong event na ito. Kung marunong lang akong mag-wire tap ng kuryente, siguro blackout na kanina pa. Or yung flowers, sana pinabenta ko na lang sa mga batang hamog. Or sana inanoounce ko thru email na hindi tuloy yung surprise para walang tao kanina. Or sana, I should have hired a stripper to seduce Carl para masampal sya nung girl at iwanan sa ere.

Or I shouldn't have come here in the first place...

And yet I'm here. I admit, I enjoyed the experience. Paikot-ikot. palakad-lakad. Making sure that everything works as planned. This is the life that I want. this is the job that I want. Alam ko, working with a videographer doesn't even come close to real film making, but it practically is really just the same. Or not. pero yung adrenaline rush, yung sense of accomplishment. Yun bang alam mong may natapos ka at maganda ang resulta. And yet, I feel exhausted, stressed and more uncomfortable than when i was reflecting on ditching this gig or not.

Maybe it's because I saw him making up with Janine.

What was i thinking? I mean, Arthur may be the overlord of evil, pero the events of this past year did take a toll on him. Maybe it's about time they put closure on what transpired between them. mybe it's about time they come back to each other's arms.

Pero bakit affected ako? It has nothing to do with me, pero bakit parang ang sakit? Come on, Jess. You only met him for a week. It wasn't not even a pleasant meeting. I mean, you want to ruin him, right?

Ewan ko. Di ko ma-explain. Di ko alam kung saan o kung kelan nagsimula ito, pero nakaka-stress. Reality check: it ended even before it even started.

"Jess?"

"Yes?"

Putangina! Perfect timing talaga. Kung kelan naman ako nagso-soliloquy tungkol sa kanya, dun pa siya biglang susulpot. Ano , papatayin ako sa sakit sa puso?

" Kumain ka na ba? "

" Yup. Kanina pa. "

"Beer? I have some cans dun sa trunk..."

"Talagang laging handa,ah..."

"Oo naman. You want?"