Kind of

1°

"I promise I'll be the one dropping off with you in this dress" Candace says

"I've been pretending to be dropping off for every one of these double dates, I better get to sit" I say

"Calm down, Yo Min said his friend Baek Jin loves tan skin and in Korea tan skin means dark skinned" Cadence says

"Whatever" I say

Cadence, Candace, and I moved to Korea after school for better business opportunities and jobs. We've known each other since freshman year and became friends when we all said the correct answer at the same time. We were really close and never let one another get left behind... until guys came and I always got left behind.

We were inseparable until our junior year. People got cars and moved from their parents houses. People were becoming adults and I was too but I was never included in any activities and always forgotten about. I thought it would change when we moved to Korea but I just got excluded from my own small group of friends by guys.

"Quit staring into space" Cadence pulled me up and I put on my Adidas originals and leather jacket to go with the tight gray dress then put my hair in a ponytail

"Where are the keys" I ask

"You're getting dropped off" Candace threw Cadence the keys and we went down to the truck to go to the restaurant where the double date would take place.

"Where are they?" I ask

"Be patient, Kierra" Candace says

"Goodness" I sigh

"They're coming" Cadence nudged me

"Good evening" Yo Min's friend took Candace's hand and kissed it making her toss me the keys and mouth a sorry

"I'm so sorry" Cadence says

"Me too" Yo Min says

"It's fine, you think after 36 times we'd all be used to it but this is 37 so maybe 38 will work on me" I say

"I promise-

"No more promises, I'm fine" I left the restaurant and as soon as I got to the truck tears started to pour from my eyes. I cried against the truck and just muttered 38. I didn't think 38 would make me feel better but I wanted something to look forward to. The more I thought about 38 the less I cared though.

I got in the truck and took some deep breaths then pulled off. I drove straight home and went to the bathroom.

"You're 19 going on 20, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're- dark skinned, too tall, you have elf ears... You're ugly and nobody will ever want you... You'll never be anything more than the ugly shadow of your friends" I broke my razor and cut along my arms, instantly regretting it and getting in the shower. I sat under the water, soaking my dress while I sobbed.

I imagined I was Alice and I was drowning in my tears but Alice in wonderland is my favorite movie so I stripped and took an actual shower while listening to Joo Young, Ven, G. Soul, and Dean. When I got out I took care of my cuts then moisturized and cleansed my face.

I put on an oversized black goddess sweatshirt, black boy shorts, and white knit thigh socks. I did a quick wash then deep conditioned, greased, and oiled my hair before putting it in twists. I put on a scarf and got in my bed. I put Full Metal Alchemist on, on my TV and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Just a quick chapter of my new book. I wanted to read a book with a dark skinned girl so here it is so far.