Mesmerizing (killua x black reader)

Chapter 41

10:24am

Two arms embraced your waist, locked and secure. The morning light gleamed onto your eyes, shutting down your lucid dream. Eyes fluttering open to see the bedroom balcony, the slide door was open.

After staring at the curtains, who swayed in the wind, reality set like stone. The knife is under Gon's, you just slept with Killua, the stalker watched you.

They're here.

There was a smal

The feeling developed like a disease, drowning your heart in the black depths of the sea. It ate at you until tears began to flow through your eyes. Those tears trickled down your cheek and onto the pillow. You quietly wept in Killua's arms. A part of you wanted to tell him, to tell Gon and maybe they could save the day, and you wouldn't disappoint anyone back home an-

"Y/n.." Killua called, softly.

Your body stiffed as he pulled you back closer against his chest.  Throat closing tight. Air struggled to shimmer through.  "Are you crying again?" His voice was deep, but soft spoken.

Again?

But instead of telling, spilling your guts, risking it all. You let out a shaky breath and pretend to sleep, slowing your breath enough to mimic unconsciousness. A small silence answered Killua before he spoke again. "I know you're awake"  he admitted.

"If this is about last night and what we did, I'll le-" "it's not that, I promise.." you cut him off.

"Then who's making my baby cry?"
The stalker. The boy or girl who's been painting. my life black.

"This game really means so much to me...and I don't wanna fuck this up for everyone" I lie, lie so good that I almost believe it myself. I'm a good player but damn. To travel all the way here just to fail, cannot be an option.

Killua then pulled his arms from my waist and propped himself up with his hand. I tensed when he moved, the bed dipping slightly under his weight. I didn't look at him. I Couldn't. His gaze felt too sharp this early in the morning, like it would peel everything off me if I let it.

"You're a terrible liar."

Of course.

A shaky breath slipped past my lips before I could stop it. My fingers curled into the sheets, gripping them like they could anchor me to something real. "I'm not lying," I muttered, voice barely above a whisper.

Silence.

Then, His hand found my chin. touch was gentle, too gentle.

He tilted my face up, forcing me to meet his eyes. God, those eyes. Blue like the ocean but not the nice kind, the kind of ocean that uses its waves to pull you  in and wash the truth from your lungs. He stared at me like he could hear each time my heart skipped a beat, each time it wanted to stop.(he could cuz that's killua duh..)

"I understand crying after a game, but crying before? when nothing has happened?" he said. 

"You haven't seen me play at games, you wouldn't know ball" I say, trying to lighten the mood, maybe even switch it off me.  And all he did was stare. He took each second to look into my soul through my eyes, my heart couldn't take much more.

"You're scared" he said, as if it was a fact. My eyes flicker to the line of his eyebrows "you're wrong" 

Killua then let go of my chin, and  sat up. The blanket drooped down his abdomen and to his lap, body defined. He took my arms and pulled me to sit up as well, keeping the blanket wrapped over my chest as if he hasn't seen it all. I didn't notice till now that my hand still had a strong grip on the sheets. I let go.

"look at me and say that you're not scared" his hand, took mine as his blue orbs searched mine. "tell me there isn't someone or something out there making you afraid"

Somehow. someway in this moment i felt at home. He didn't hold my hand like my mom held mine when i first lost my virginity. He didn't hold it like i was a ticking time bomb. He held my hand like this was the third time a butterfly had landed on his finger. not stiff, not shaky. He held it in tranquility.  "Killua it isn't tha-" KNOCK KNOCK knock KNOCK knock

it's Gon.

"Y/n open the door! I need to show you something!" he yelled through the door as he knocked. urgency. excitement. concern. With Gon you could never really tell. 

"yeah hold on!" I yell back, then my eyes shift to the man in my bed. Killua didn't move. Not immediately, at least. His hand was still wrapped around mine, thumb brushing slow, absent circles against my skin like he didn't even realize he was doing it.

"...You're not done talking," he said quietly. Another knock hit the door, louder this time. If Gon could he would break down every door he could or just abolish doors "Y/n!" I flinched.

And that was all Killua needed. His grip tightened just slightly before loosening, his hand slipping from mine like he was letting something go he didn't want to.

"Go," he muttered, sitting back a little, but his eyes never left me. "We're not done with this." A promise. Or warning. Maybe both.. I swallowed, forcing my legs to move, forcing myself to stand even though it felt like I was leaving something unfinished behind me. I grabbed a robe from inside one of the nightstands and wrapped it tightly around my body. Even tighter and maybe I could mask the guilt I felt.

Every step to the door felt heavier than it should've. But in times like this sometimes taking a deep breath works. Letting the air circulate through your lungs after deep sea diving. My hand hovered over the handle for just a second. Then I opened it.

There stood Gon. Bright. Happy. Alive. "Finally!" he grinned, barging straight in before I could even say anything.  "i couldn't find Killua so I came here and" "Gon—wait!"

And it was like time froze in the most awkward position.