Queen of Chaos

Eris.

I scoff, stutter, sputter and laugh nervously. “I am not a girl…I am a guy. The name is Ace.” The guy with the beautiful eyes and strong jaw stalks towards me, his red leather shoes clicking on the floor. Tommy comes and stands in front of me, his arm back, holding me away from him.  Still laughing nervously I scratch the back of my neck and avoid the guy’s cold, intimidating eyes. 

Tommy’s wide shoulders tense as the guy continues forward, his eyes never leaving my face. “Out of the way, Thomas. I wish to examine the stray.” When Tommy doesn’t move he gives him a cold smile that makes me shiver in the warm train car. “Move. Now.” Tommy moves as if in a trance and I watch as he backs away, his eyes shining with regret. “Hello there, girl.” The strange guy stares deep into my eyes and the spark, spark, spark lights in my stomach and spreads to my fingers. 

He raises his hand and removes the cap, his fingertips brushing against my scalp. My knees go weak, weak, weak and my hand grasps his shoulder; shocked at my audacity I slowly let my arm fall to my side. The guy grins a little and I feel dizzy and tingly. “What is your name, girl?” His thumb brushes my cheekbone; my eyes flutter shut, shut, shut and I wonder if I have fallen from the train and risen to heaven. His voice goes softer and more intimate. “Your name, my girl.”

“Eris.” The grin spreads a little and his hand brushes across my lips, lips, lips. If this is heaven, please don’t smite me now, Lord. “Eris Lilith, sir.” The sound of laughing angels spills from his lips and my cheeks are painted red, red, red. 

“Eris Lillith, the names of two goddesses.” Lips brushing my ear he continues, “The goddesses of chaos and mischeif.” My heart stutters and I let myself smile a little. His eyes meet mine and suddenly he frowns, his eyes widening slightly. 

“Thomas. Get her off of my train.” The guy steps back from me, and I stare at him shellshocked. “Now, Thomas.” The connection I feel with the man in red is severed abruptly and I stumble backwards. Suddenly alone I wrap my arms around myself and rock back and forth. The loss I feel is unbearable and when Tommy touched my shoulder I flinch away. The word no croaks from my mouth and I feel so alone, alone, alone and unworthy. 

“What ‘ave ya done to ‘er?!” Tommy’s voice deepens with rage and the man in red calmly stares back. My body falls to the ground and I stay there, staring at the open car door. 

“Absolutely nothing, Thomas. Now are you going to toss her from my train or will I have to get someone who will?” At that moment is when Billy decides to make an appearance, his eyes sparkling with rage as well. In his enraged state he barely notices the ring leader standing in the car, his eyes are only on me. 

“I am going to kill you.” He stalks towards me and rips me up by my upper arms. “What do you think you are doing giving me attitude back there?! I will throw you from this train!!” 

“Do it, William.” Billy’s eyes widen and he glances over my shoulder. “Throw her from the train, right now.” Billy begins pulling me towards the open car door and I go limp in his arms. The sudden weight doesn’t affect him and I welcome the wind that whips my hair across my face. With his arms around me, I manage to meet his eyes and I give him a weak smile.

“I am sorry.” He stops suddenly, the wind has captured my shirt and nearly wrenches the cloth from my body. Absently, I wonder if it will hurt when I fall off this speeding train. Billy swings me up into his arms so that my legs are no longer dragging and then he turns to the ring leader defiantly. 

“I have something to show you before we toss her.” Frozen in time and feeling my lack of self-worth I allow myself to be carried to the car with the lions. Billy pulls the keys from his belt and leans into my ear. “Stop shaking so much.” His cold eyes are unforgiving as he throws me into the cage roughly. The lions growl at his retreating figure and the cub comes and paws gently at my head. Then the adult lion comes and pushes his nose against mine. 

Through the light tan mane of the lion I can see the ring leader’s amazed face as he stares at me. “Eris?” Slowly, I rise and lean against the lion, the cub in my arms; hope swells in my stomach. His approval would make my life worthy again and maybe in time I would earn his favor. “You can stay.” He turns and is gone, gone, gone. Billy opens the cage and I crawl out, my face stretched in a thin, grim smile. Tommy helps me to stand and hugs me tightly. 

My heart skips a couple beats and I slowly wrap my arms around him. He squeezes and I lean my head against his shoulder. “Come. You must be exhausted.” The two of them carry my weak and shaking body, set me on my bunk and pat me on the head. The words shift in my brain, reverberating repeatedly. My name from his perfect mouth, his hands in my hair. I fall asleep thinking of his image, my boots still tied and tightened on my feet.