Jimmy Jane

chapter 8 ~ Unfolding Farts ( yes we said farts its no mistake)

Jimmy Jane

Chapter eight ~ Unfolding Farts

Jane P.O.V

The small bed on which I lay creaked as I rolled over for the hundredth time trying to ignore Johns snoring. I swear that guy gives a steam train a run for its money. I start to close my eyes trying to get a few more minutes of sleep before having to go down for breakfast.

Just as I am about to fall back into a blissful sleep I roll over and blink open an eye only to get an eye full of johns big butt. For a bottom it is quite tanned, I wonder if he ever sunbakes with his knickers down.

“Wake up mini man, hey check this” John holds in a cheeky smirk.

“what the…………”

A warm blast of foul smelling air wafts into my face, burning my nostrils and stinging my eyes. My ears start to ache from the uneven tunes of the trumpet like sound.  Through all the fog of Johns fart I start to hear a really bad impression of the last post. Used to signal the soldiers in world war 1.

I jolt into an upright position, trying to escape this torture that John calls a wake up. My head bangs against his bare bottom, geez his butt was closer than I thought and how does he get his bottom to be so strong and muscly….

I pull his pants up and push him out of my face, in the process he knocks me over and we fall to the ground. He never faulters in his laughing fit, he starts to roll and I kick him up the butt, holding back my laughter.

Only him, bloddy John I will get him for this. I bend down and slap him across the back of his head, still trying to hold in my girlish laughter .

“Your disgusting, I haven’t smelt anything like that since we found a nest of dead rats in our bloody basement, dude what have you been eating?” I grunt, kind of letting out a cackle in the process.

“ Come on man, we all smell like that unless your Gay, or…………… a girl, they all use those smelling things” he stands u[p and pulls up his boxer shorts, grinning his head off.

 I pale at the last few words. Do I smell to famine to be a guy here, maybe I shouldn’t wash for a few days, you know get the real body odor thing happening.

Noticing my face he relaxes into a more calm face.

“Dude I was just joking” he says, trying to make me feel better, but my mind is reeling with ways to make me stink more, mud, rotten fish?

You know when you can still hear things and see things but your mind is elsewhere? Yeah well I’m doing that now. Think, Jane, Think, what does Timmy do that might make him smell more than me.

A confused expression spreads across Johns face as he takes in my thoughtful state. HE scratches his bare stomach then runs at me full charge, knocking me to the grounds of the carpeted floor of the hotel. I’m surprised the whole floor didn’t collapse under the impact of our bodies, this hotel isn’t really the best place in Saigon, the government don’t want to pay extra money for a nice hotel for the soldiers to stay.

He rolls  on top of me laughing his head off, I wriggle trying to get free from underneath him.

“Bet if you weren’t up before you are now Jimmy” he laughs in big growls, he thwacks an arm into my bandaged chest, even though my boobs are bandaged the impact still makes a whimper escape my lips, a girl whimper. I quickly cover it up with some grunty laughs, but John has stopped mucking around.

He stares at me, his hard set eyes bulging out of his head. His eyes trail along my face, taking a snap shot of each feature. I see the clocks working in his brain, I try to sit up, but he pins me down, a careful look about his eyes.