When You Look Like That ~ A Tronnor AU (discontinued)

Chapter 9

Troye laid down on his bed as the memories of the day spun around in his head. He had broke someone's arm, watched Marcus beat up some poor freshman, and met a really nice boy with a cute smile. Connor was his name right?

Troye you're straight

He always had little voice in the back of his head reminding himself that he was supposed to be straight. Besides, he was going to do anything to fit in and being gay usually led to lots of being made fun of and homophobic slurs. He definitely couldn't have that. It was hard enough for him to deal with the group of homophobic friends he had now.

You're not even gay so why does it matter

Troye shook those thoughts out of his head completely. Instead he started to worry about school. Not necessarily the learning aspects but just how he was going to choose who to hang out with. He had his idiot friends who mainly made him be friends with them so they could get more popularity points. Then he had the boy he had just met. He was so kind to Troye even though he had just broken his friends wrist. He had seemed genuinely interested in Troye's problems and acted like he wanted to help.

Troye thought back to the conversation they had had before going back to class. Connor had asked him why he smoked. He had just shrugged it off like he didn't know but Troye knew exactly why he smoked. He remembered back to the day when he had his first cigarette. Caspar had offered it to him one day when they were hanging out at his house. Troye took it, scared of what would happen if he didn't, and started to smoke it.

It wasn't that he enjoyed smoking. It actually wasn't anything like that at all. He smoked to kill him. As horrible as it sounds it is true. Troye hated how he had two different personalities that changed depending on who he hung out with. He hated always being the bad guy. He hated all the rumors that people spread about him. He hated himself. So he figured, if I was dead it wouldn't matter right? I don't have a reason to live.

Sure he had a good family who all loved him, but he felt like they weren't interested in him. He had a sister and two brothers, and with a family that size someone was bound to be forgotten. Because of his feeling of everlasting loneliness he soon became depressed and was diagnosed with depression.

While his whole family knew about his diagnosis but he had never told anyone else. He didn't feel safe telling anyone. He felt like if he told one of his "friends" they would think he was weak, and turn on him. Troye felt like there was a weight on shoulders, he hated the fake personality he showed off at school.

He made good grades in school, above average really, but grades don't matter to him. Troye was going to chase his true passion until it got him somewhere.

Singing.  

He felt at home when he sang or wrote lyrics. Every thing that bothers him is no more when he writes or sings. It made him feel at ease, as if he were on the top of the world. He poured his soul into his songs. They were always meaningful and had a strong message. Many people say teenagers are immature and can't be serious but his songs were worthy to be sung by the most famous artists. He loved them, but was to scared of showing them to people in fear of judgment.

He felt his eyes grow tired, as he fell asleep with the thought of the day that was ahead.

A/N
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Oh and sorry this was a really boring chapter! x