The Life of the Wife

Chapter twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

DET. MORRIS

It had been three months of questioning shop owners, petrol station workers, and looking for any clue of a commune before we gave up and went back to our own town to figure out where he was from there. So many sightings and leads had taken a toll on me, and I was seeing Aiden everywhere. I'd have to blink a few times and realise I was letting my mind get to me to calm my racing heart.
Marian had gone to her mothers so I was left alone in our house. Things were deadly silent and I couldn't bare to go back into the bedroom so I would usually sleep on the couch or futon in the guest room. The one thing I really missed was my treadmill. I almost broke it, running to my hearts content the first few days I'd got home. But now I was sore, tired and emotionally drained.
Every Sunday that passed was the worst. I'd get a deep pain in the pit of my stomach and feel sick from worry and lack of sleep. All I could think about was some poor soul on the end of Aiden's blade being tortured because of his beliefs.
We weren't sure if his wife knew anything about Aidens past time, but it looked like she didn't. I couldn't imagine how she was going to react when she found out.
I'd made an appointment with my psychiatrist and locked up to see her.
'Freeds, talk to me.' I turned to see Marian waiting by the driveway.
'We have nothing to talk about. We both know what happened and I think that's torture enough.' I'd never spoken so nastily to her before, it felt so alien from my mouth.
'Please, can we just try and figure this out? I don't want to lose you, and I know you still love me.' She blocked my way to the car door, desperately trying to look me in the eyes with her sorry expression.
'Fine, come over tonight at eight.' I spat, forcing my way to my car and driving off, feeling defeated.

For the few months I was on the road I hadn't seen my psychiatrist, Sasha, the whole time and other than a few phone calls, we hadn't spoken either. Her office made me feel safe and secure as I'd grown to love the smell of lavender and texture of her leather seats. This place was like a second home.
'You look like you haven't slept, Frieda.' She said, as we both sat down facing each other.
'I don't sleep well on Sunday nights.' She started scribbling something down.
'You didn't sleep too well ten years ago the first time this happened, did you?' She was right. I felt like I was spiralling into a déjà vu of emotions. I was basically doing the same thing over again.
'I'm alone this time again, i still haven't worked things out with Marian.' The doctor sat up and stared intently.
'Your struggling being alone?'
'Yes.'
'Have you considered going out to a night class, to pass time and keep your mind busy?'
'I wouldn't know where to go for that, Sasha.'
She smiled and pulled her glasses closer to her face.
'I go to a ceramic class three nights a week at the art centre on maple street if your interested? I make a darn good ashtray!' She giggled, looking towards my packet of cigarettes I had been fiddling with.
'When is the next class?' I almost blurted out too quickly. I was excited.
Her face lit up and went to her desk, picking up a flyer.
'From seven to nine, Tuesday's, Thursday's and Sunday's. Perfect, there's one tomorrow. Will I see you there then?'
'Absolutely!'
We talked over the time set aside for our appointment and didn't realise until an officer came in, impatiently waiting for their turn. I abruptly said goodbye and went to my desk. Paperwork piled over more paperwork and I could barely see my desk. I was happy though, I was back at doing what I did best.
A lot of the paperwork were false sightings of Aiden that Jerry and I had already checked out, and some of it were requests for reports on everything we did looking for Aiden.
My phone buzzed with a text message: "Frieda, don't forget to bring a spare shirt tomorrow, clay is messy! Sasha." Her use of emoticons were incorrigible. 

After a good three hours of paperwork, I made my home to find Marian waiting on the doorstep. Had she left at all? I parked the car and took a deep breath before inviting her in and we sat in the unfinished kitchen as I made us coffee.
Awkward silence filled the air before Marian couldn't take it anymore.
'Oh, Freeds, I am so sorry this all happened! I can't think of anything worse to do to you, and I've done it!' She sobbed, slamming down her cup and reaching for some tissues in her pocket.
I stayed silent and watched her try to speak.
'If we can work this out, I swear I will try to make it up to you with every bone in my body. It was unforgivable, I know. I thought it's what I wanted, you were so distant lately that I was craving attention I guess, and when Harry showed me just that, I let him take advantage of me.'
I tried to take it all in. Her every word felt like a bad excuse and it made me feel sick.
'I can't do this, Marian. You're right. It's unforgivable, and I'm not going to forgive you. My heart is broken and your excuses don't mend it.' By now I was calm, and kept my voice even. Marian just burst into tears and cried into her tissues.
'Oh god, it's really over. Oh god, I am so sorry Frieda!'
'I think you need to go, Marian. I'll call for your mother to pick you up.' She never did learn to drive, which I used to find cute that she'd procrastinate the easiest of tasks.
Marian waited outside for her mother as I stayed in the kitchen, pretending to keep my head. But once I heard her get in the car, and it drove away I let go all the emotion built up and it came out in a big blur of hot tears and cries. Things were really over.

I packed a shirt into my car and got ready to go to the ceramics class. Sasha had already texted me telling me that she was already there, and to take my time, but naturally I hurried over.
I walked into the classroom to see only one person I recognised, I expected other patients to be there. When she seen me, her face lit up making me smile back at her. Her good mood was contagious. I sat next to her and kept her smile while dropping a large piece of clay.
'I don't really know what to do.' I confessed.
'You're supposed to follow what the teacher does, but he is always flirting with the painting teacher across the corridor, so I make it up as I go along. Really quite soothing actually, making a mess for fun.' She giggled as she swished around her clay and moulding it into what looks like a bowl, so I tried to copy.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter, trying to make legible things out of clay. I hadn't thought about the case the whole time. I felt sadness when the teacher came in to tell us time was up and we made our way outside into the cold breeze.
'It seems too early to be going home, do you want to stop in that cafe for a cuppa?' Sasha jittered as she wrapped her scarf around her neck. That's when I kissed her.
She was surprised and pulled back.
'That was...'
'Good?' My cheeks burnt red in embarrassment.
'Unprofessional.'
I bit my lip and looked to the ground.
'Sorry.'
Before I could apologise anymore, Sasha lifted my chin with her hand and leant in, kissing me back.

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Okay so that was all soppy, and not my style but I just had to do it. Mwuahahahaha!
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