The Virgin

Chapter Four - Vampires vs. Zombies

Today I focused like a pro. I had three consultations and got caught up on our team surgery patient's entire medical history. I'm back. I'm going to head out, buy a bottle of wine, order a pizza, and watch bad movies with my sister. I'm hoping if I get her drunk enough she will explain to me the searching-for-herself self-help book I caught her reading.

As I turn to leave, I see Grace greet her husband at the hospital's main entrance. Kyle Manning is the first baseman for the New York Yankees, spokesman for underwear, sports drinks and hair gel, and husband to my own personal Mean Girl, Dr. Grace Meadows. Since I don't feel like having my ass handed to me for no reason, I will find something to pretend to read until the coast is clear.

I pick up an elderly patients urination chart and watch Grace and Kyle get into their pimped-up Hummer. Inside the beast of a vehicle are her two beautiful teenagers, fiddling with their cell phones. No doubt they are posting selfies of themselves on Instagram and Twitter. Because when you have that much money, go to the best schools, and look that good, why would you do anything else?

"I see the vampire has left the building," Mark says, as he pulls off his comfy shoes and slides on a pair of two-dollar flip-flops.

"I thought she was a witch," I say trying to keep up.

"That was last week's theory. I'm thinking the undead now. She never seems to age. After giving birth to two kids and raising them while working full-time her body is in top physical shape, but I've never seen her or heard her talk about working out, nor have I ever seen her break a sweat. Her husband is a handsome professional athlete who seems genuinely happy to see her when he is in town. And she is at the top of a medical field that is dominated by men."

"She does seem to have it all. Vampire she is. And I am a mere mortal, thus I am destined to live a life void of maternal and marital bliss in exchange for work, work, work," I say, trying to be funny.

"Like a zombie," Mark quips.

I should have known he'd use my humor against me.

"Not like a zombie. Like a human being avoiding biting off more than she can chew," I explain.

"Yes, like a zombie. They bite and chew."

"You read too many comic books."

"You read too many medical journals."

"Whatever, nerd," I snap, grabbing my bag and turning to leave.

"Whatever, nerd zombie," I hear Mark yell, as I push through the revolving doors.

I take in a deep breath of New York City air hoping it will release some of the anxiety Mark just raised in me. A zombie? Really? Grace gets to be a sexy vampire and I'm rotting flesh? As I turn the corner and pass the bus stop my fears are reaffirmed. On one side of the partition is a movie poster for a vampire movie. On the other side is a poster for a zombie television show. Which one do you think is more attractive?

I shake it off and hurry across the street, just as the blinking hand on the other side warns me to stop. I should have listened to it, because in my panic to get across I nearly get hit by a delivery truck. My only escape is a leap onto the sidewalk where I land solidly between two well-dressed professionals about to kiss. I'm about to apologize when I realize they didn't even notice me. They are so into each other that my body bounding out of nowhere toward them was meaningless. God, they look happy. I feel happy for them. Well, some of us get a career and some of us get love. It's just a toss up.

I can't help myself and eavesdrop on their quick exchange, as they enter my favorite Italian restaurant.

"How was the big meeting?"