The Virgin

Epilogue

Meanwhile, I was later told that my colleagues - now my friends - and little sister had all gathered at our local beer garden to drink and hang out. Drinking and hanging out led to speculation and the next thing you know, they had all chimed in on how and when and where Bodhi and I would consummate our sexual relationship - or more to the point - where and when I was going to lose my virginity.

Apparently, from the bits and pieces I could put together, this is how it went down.

"I hope he just nails her in the cab," Sandy blurts out, after her fifth shot of tequila.

"Why would you wish that on anyone," Amir snapped back, "The germs on a New York City taxi seat alone could give them each an infection or STD. No, I hope he took her to the Four Seasons and seduced her."

"But that's not how it goes," Peter chimed in, swigging his whiskey and tapping the bar like a cowboy ordering another.

"Why can't it be like that?" Javier whined. "They're adults. They can choose to be classy rather than opportunistic. Not like how we lost ours. I mean, come on. Teenagers will do it with anyone anywhere just to get it over with."

"How old were you," Amir asked, as he shoved a handful of peanuts in his mouth.

"Yeah, what was your first like?" Peter pushed on.

Javier shook his head and finger at Peter, "Oh no, you don't go there honey. This isn't share circle."

"Fine, I'll tell my first time story if you tell yours," Peter quipped back, sipping his newly poured drink.

Javier stared at him. Then he checked in with Sandy who was obviously game by the huge grin on her face. He looked over his shoulder at Mark and Lacy who had their tongues so deep in each other's throats that they wouldn't know if someone lost their virginity on the next bar stool, so they wouldn't need to be involved.

Amir smiled, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours."

"Alright, but anyone who listens has to participate," Javier said, slurring a little. "I'm gonna need another beer for this." He motioned to the bartender who nodded and pulled open another micro-brew can for the doctor.

"Do I go first," Peter asked, a churlish grin on his face.

Javier took a swig of beer and motioned with his hand to get on with it already.

"Alright, I was at catholic school camp. We were trading blow jobs for finger, um, you know what's - rhymes with 'what'... right then, until I came upon Margie. She was committed to going all the way. So, while everyone else was watching Halloween, a great American horror film I have since seen and if you haven't seen it, highly recommend it. Anyhow, while they were watching Halloween and grabbing boobs, I was in my sleeping bag with Margie making sweet Irish Catholic love. To some that movie is scary. To me, it's an aphrodisiac to great romance."

Javier slammed down his can and clapped his hands.

"OK, let's get this done. I was in the shared closet of a committed relationship with the only other gay in my high school. Our first time was both our first and it wasn't too eventful, except that it was hard not to stop once we got started. That gay is now a very important right winged congressman. And every year, I take an all expenses paid month long vacation anywhere in the world of my choosing. I didn't ask. He offered, just like my first time in the boat house during our families shared summer vacation. Sandy, you're up."

"Wow, sex in a closet all through high school. Hard to beat that, but I'll try."

"It's not a competition and it wasn't in a closet," Javier groaned.

"Whatever. So, me? Well, I was technically a virgin until my last year of undergrad."

"Technically," Amir shot back.

"Yeah, sex was looked down upon at my college so we floated. Apparently that wasn't considered "sex" per se."

"Floated," all three men repeated back to her in unison.

"Wait, does anal count? Because if it does, I need to go much farther back. Much further."

The group sat silent for a moment. For Sandy it felt like two seconds, but for the three men it felt like two hours.

Peter cleared his throat, "Alrighty then, Amir. It is your turn."

"My first time was with a German exchange student. She took me, like an owl swooping down and taking a tiny Chihuahua that was left off his leash."

Then he raised his hands upward, as if he were releasing a small bird to flight, "It was like flying."

Mark, who was listening the entire time, reached his hand behind him and smacked Javier on the leg.

"What?" Javier yelped. "You want to share too I suppose?"

"My first time was in seventh grade. I was," he stopped for a moment, swallowed and returned to licking Lacy's neck, "seduced by my eighth grade math tutor. She was meticulous. But now that I've met you, I wish my first time had been with you," he said to Lacy, biting her ear and licking her collar bone.

"Me, too," she said, grabbing his hair and yanking him to the left and right, then left and right again. "I got crabs my first time. I bet I wouldn't' have gotten crabs with you."

"Nah, you would've," Mark moaned, as he picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. "I've had crabs multiple times."

As everyone within ear shot groaned, Mark Friendly, RN did what he does best. He ignored the haters in the room after saying something completely disgusting and followed it with something straight from the depths of his heart.

"Lacy," he said softly, gently placing her in a brown rickety bar chair. "I love you."

Then, on bended knee - directly into a puddle of spilled beer - he said, "The moment your sister told me about you, I knew I loved you. I know, it sounds crazy, but I thought if she's Kate's sister, she's hot, smart, and a good person. Then I met you and damn it all to hell if I didn't give myself an attaboy for being so right. But I gotta give you an attagirl because you are so much more than Kate or what I thought you would be. You are funny, sexy, smart, pretty, super hot, you like tacos and meat, and you drink beer and wine coolers. You look for what makes you happy and I get that. And you make me happy. You are my music. Does that makes sense?"

I'm told Lacy nodded and then he did it.

"Will you, Lacy Matthews, be my wife?"

"Yes!" she screamed, in the highest pitch imaginable and the fell into each other, rolling around in the beer puddle and straddling each other ripping at one another's clothes until the bartender asked them to leave - or rather "get a room."

So, while Bodhi and I made love in his bed, talking about our futures and listening to Barry White - not to be played in the O.R. ever - Mark and Lacy were haphazardly skipping down their future together with beer soaked jeans and saliva dripping off their cheeks and ears. It was a fairytale ending for both me and my sis. We had both been swimming in the deep waters of life alone long enough to know that when we had finally met our buoy and we were going to grab onto it and just float for a bit.

Er, not float like Sandy, float, but like on a boat float. You know what I mean. We had finally found someone who could carry us for a bit when we needed carrying and they had found someone who was willing to do the same for them. So, if you ever think that you can't handle love and career, you forgot one important aspect of living. Life isn't about having it all. Life is about sharing it all with someone you love.

To be continued...