The Virgin

Chapter Fifteen - In The Closet

Mr. Rodriguez lives in Puerto Rico. He owns a fishing equipment business that he started with three dollars, a boat, and a community that believed in him. His business grew and he has five stores in Puerto Rico. He has a wife of thirty years and three children. I look through the window of Mr. Rodriguez's room, while Dr. Strong discusses with Mrs. Rodriguez and Javier any concerns they may be having. The rest of the surgical team gathers around me. We are all taken in by the unfolding picture before us. Mrs. Rodriguez holds her husband's hand. The children each have an arm around the other. Now that's a tight unit.

I feel the hair on my arm rise as someone pushes up next to me. It's Bodhi.

"How are you doing?" he asks quietly in my ear.

I move away. He is too much for me.

"I'm fine. Focused. You don't have to worry."

Bodhi turns to the rest of the team.

"That's what makes it all worthwhile. That in there. Watching a loving spouse help their husband through the difficult times." He turns back and looks through the window with us. "Someone who is there for you no matter the circumstance, no matter the challenge. The two of you against the world."

"The five of them against the world," Amir adds.

"We can't fail her," Grace says, softly under her breath.

"We won't," Mark chimes in. "We won't."

The youngest boy wipes a tear from his eyes as his father talks to him. His big sister embraces him. It's all too much.

I make a run for it. I don't know where I'm going, but I need to be alone. This past week and a half has been one for the books. I think I'm a great surgeon, but I have never been distracted like this before. What is happening to me and my team? There is too much emotion for me to be comfortable. I see an open supply closet. I duck into it, close the door behind me, and cry. I cry and cry and cry.

"Are you alright?"

I must have closed my eyes, lost in my sobbing. Mark heard me through the door and had come in without my even knowing.

"I'm scared."

"Why? We can do this."

"I'm not scared of the surgery," I sniffle, wiping the snot dripping down my lips.

"OK, then what is it?"

"I'm scared of not having anyone there to hold my hand if I were sick. Hell, I'm scared of not having anyone there to hold my hand when I'm healthy."

Mark grabs a roll of gauze and hands it to me. I wipe my dripping nose and he slides down to the ground next to me.

"Nothing's guaranteed—not love, not our careers. The only thing that's guaranteed is that tomorrow comes and hopefully we get another crack at being a part of it."

He takes my hand in his. "Let's take a crack at it for that family this week. Next week, we can tackle our pathetic excuses for lives. But today, let's make it about them like we always do, together."

"Thanks, Mark."

"You know it, babe. Hey, we're a team, you and me, and a damn good one at that."

He smiles at me and suddenly I see him, that friend who has been by my side for years. Every day there, cheering me on and supporting me through the tough days. I am falling into his eyes and then I feel my lips on his. I kiss him gently at first, and then I kiss him hard and deep. Everything in me is saying yes, this guy is the guy. He is the one you have been looking for who was there all along. And then Mark pulls away from me. He jumps up and takes a few steps toward the door and turns around.