Let's Rant

loud eaters

Oh.

I thought I lived in the suburbs.

So why is there a FUCKING COW SITTING AT MY DINING ROOM TABLE?

Yea, u little bitch. I hear you.

You know what else I can hear?

Satan fucking screeching in my ear.

I would rather drag my nails down a chalkboard agonizingly slowly than have to listen to you smack your food.

What is so hard about closing your fucking mouth? Unless you've got some fucking jaw dysfunction and can't close your mouth all the way I suggest you sit down, stfu, and eat silently so I don't

STAB YOU IN THE GLABELLA WITH A FUCKING SPORK.

Oh but that's not all.

Not only do some people smack like the obnoxious little shit heads they are, I know some people who SLURP THEIR DRINKS.

The drink is empty. There is nothing there. It's finished, done, gone. Like Augustus Waters. (too soon?)

Rose let go. I think it's time for you to let go too.

let it go
let it go
can't slurp the drink no more
let it go
let it go
turn away and-

No. Just stop being so damn loud with your motherfucking food and I won't have the strong desire to twist your nipples so far around they'll fall off like leaves off a tree.

gurl stahp

- syd