1. If you can count your age on your fingers GET THE FUCK OFF SOCIAL MEDIA.
Buy a fucking barbie or a hotwheels or some shit.
2. If you call genitals "peepees" GET THE FUCK OFF SOCIAL MEDIA.
Because firstly, I can only assume you're under the age of twelve, and two, if you're over the age of twelve and still call genitals "peepees" you're obviously not mature enough to be on the internet.
I'm worried about the amount of tiny humans who are scrolling through the interwebz reading smut or swearing like drunken sailors.
Child, you are legitimately 9 years old. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHAT A HAND JOB IS?
I didn't even know what "virginity" was until I was like eleven.
I'm a teenage girl. I love me some gay smut. Whether it's for the lolz or because gay fanfiction makes my little heart sing, I just really like gay smut.
That being said, I was innocently scrolling through wattpad when I stumbled across some peterick smut.
sign me the fuck up.
The first page of the story was an authors note. Understandable, a lot of wattpad authors write small notes to notify their potential audience prior to the first chapter.
Surprisingly, I read them. Unlike terms and conditions.
I was totally okay with the content until; "Don't make fun of my riting im only 10."
SHARKEISHA NO.
I couldn't read more. I couldn't. Because I was either going to be faced with;
"Oh patric i lov yu so mush." pete said. "i lov yu to pete." said patric."
or
"Patrick saw Pete's peepee and gasped. "What the heck!" Patrick said. "Holy moly that's one big willy!" and he poked it with his finger."
Both of which would have been for the lolz, obviously, but I'm not into that whole "horny fetus on the interweb writing gay smut" thing.
Just stop.
So you little fetuses. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up because your terrible grammar and inability to count higher than 50 really throws me off.
That is all.
- syd
YOU ARE READING
Let's Rant
Humorapparently it's not ladylike to swear about your issues. well I don't give a fuck.