Cowboys and Angels

Chapter 7

I walked into school with no one; not Hunter or Brett. Just by myself. I was alone. Hunter had called me up early that morning, saying he was sick. It wasn't that unusual. He got sick frequently. Kinda the normal. 

I quickly made my way to my locker, ignoring everyone. I wasn't in the mood to talk because of the mishap on Saturday. Why didn't he just say we should just stay friends instead of explaining why. And this point in the week, it being only Monday, I felt like shit. I couldn't and wouldn't face Brett or Trevor. I was fed up. I was vulnerable to both of them; always giving in. I hate myself for it. I never really wanted to be in a relationship with Brett anyways. He was like an older brother, always looking out for me. Now, I felt umcomforable in his presence or even seeing. I was beginning to feel a lot more self-conscious and insecure about myself. I didn't need guys to tell me I was pretty or perfect; I didn't want that. I wanted to be left alone. Single. Solo. I just was tired of fighting over guys. 

I walked up to my locker and came smack in the face with reality when I realized I couldn't open my lock. The day when I was avoiding Brett and I need Hunter the most, my lock refuses to function correctly. Great. I shook my lock several time violently and let it go. I shouldn't take my anger out of my lock, it didn't deserve it. What was I doing? Showing sympatethy to my locker lock? What's wrong with me? Have I gone crazy?

I put my back against my locker and stood there. Of course, Brittany had to be standing 10 feet away from me. I could hear everything thing she was saying. And I wasn't happy.

"Oh my lord, did ya hear that that skank Emersoon or whatever hooked up with the Brett Carter? Ugh it just makes me sick. He deserves someone so much prettier than her. Like me! Him and I would be so perfect together. He's always lookin' at me. Like I do the "try not to notice; get his attention" look but it's so dang hard. He's so perfect." I was minutes away from exploding my anger all over her. I muttered profanties to myself. She made me so sick. I couldn't even remain calm because of her. 

She continued, "Oh look. There she is," She said to her minions. "What a slut. I heard she was tryin' to get back together with her ex Trevor. When is she gunna stop? Ugh. She seriously needs to look in the mirror and realize she ain't pretty. Humph." I could feel her burning eyes staring at me. I felt like I was an explosion ready to explode. Hot tears filled my eyes. Don't cry, Emerson. She's just jealous. You're great. No you're not. You're ugly and pathetic. Brett hates you, so does Trevor and even Hunter. You lost all your friends sweetie. What the hell was going on in my head? 

"Oh my good gosh. It's Brett," one girl said. She began fanning herself. You've got to be kidding me. "You should totally talk to him, girl. You plus him equals yummy," she said to Brittany. I could literally hear her smirk. 

"I have a better idea," Brittany said evilly. With in seconds, I was face to face with one of the biggest brats of my school. I wanted to die.

"Howdy, Emersoon."

"Emerson," I corrected.

"Whatever," she shot back. "How's life on the low side of town?" I could here her friends giggle in the background. Couldn't I have just gotten hit by the car instead of this? I thought.

"What do you want?" I asked. In a snap of a finger, I felt hot coffee pour down my body. I screamed in pain. Everyone teared there heads at me and Brittany, including Brett. Her friends were howling in laughter. This was where I wanted to just fall apart. Right then and there. I looked around once more and saw Trevor standing fifteen feet back, staring me down. I glance up at Brittany. She had a perfectly crooked smirk on her face. It took everything I had left in me to shove her backwards so she fell. I ran as fast as I could to a restroom to clean up, shoving everyone out of my way. People stared. I didn't care. I cried in pain. I didn't care. I didn't care anymore.

My body ached and burned from the coffee on me. I looked in the mirror above the sink and saw my once tan skin red and blistering. I took a good five minutes and just stared at my face in the mirror with makeup smeared on my face and my hair dripping of coffee. Was I really that ugly. I cursed at myself and fell apart. I had reached my breaking point and no one was there. I was alone. I took off tank top I had been wearing. With just my bra on, I turned my back facing the mirror and looked at the damage that had been. Burn marks everywhere. I was scarred. For good. 

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I crouched down and sat on the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and hung my head low. I began to sob. My back still stung even after several hours. 

What did I do to myself?

I set myself up for this.

What is wrong with me?

Why did I ever want to be friends with Brett?

Why did I ever want to date Trevor?

Why was everything my fault?

"Emerson?" a voice said. I looked up from my lap and whiped my cheeks off.  I didn't exactly recognize the girl, but she looked strangely familiar to me. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered.

"Are you sure?" she questioned concerningly. I nodded. "You probably don't recognize me, do you?" she said. I shook my head. "Well before you were even merely friends with Brett or Hunter, you had me. I'm Kacey." 

With her long straightened hair and perfect face, I wouldn't have ever recognized her. She changed. A lot.

Kacey and I were friends since third grade when she moved here from Texas. She and I did everything together. She had glasses then and short curly hair. So of course she looked different now. But I didn't know why she was even talking to me after I stopped being friends with her since I met the boys.

"I saw what happened," she stated as she sat next to me. "You didn't deserve that, you know."

"Why are you even talking to me?" I asked abruptly. "I ditched you for Brett and Hunter. I didn't give you a second thought when I met them. Why do you even care?"

"Em, after you did what you did, I didn't stop caring. You were my best friend for so many years. You helped me get out my shell. Because of you, I wouldn't be who I am today." 

"What?" I said in confusion.

"You don't realize how beautiful you actually are. You were my inspiration, Emerson. You gave me so many tips in seventh grade and they helped. You taught me to be confident and happy with who I am. And now you're nor confident or happy with who you are." A tear fled from my eye. "What happened? What happened to the Emerson I used to know? She changed because two silly boys made her. I'll tell you, Brett is too good for you and so is Trevor. They aren't worth your time, sweetie. You're amazing. And I never said you weren't my friend. I accepted the fact you were changing and  I was okay with that." She unexpectingly pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her tightly. Tears flooded my face as I cried into her shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry I forgot about you, Kacey."

"Don't apologize," she said. "What are friends for, huh?" I laughed a little. She always did know how to make me feel better.

The sad thing was, she and I never fought. Not once. And yet, I still left her behind and forgot about her while I moved on and changed into this tomboy of a kid. That was when reality hit me across the face and said, "This is who you are. Breathe easy, child. You're okay."

And I was.