Cowboys and Angels

Chapter 14

"Wake uuuupppp," someone whispered in my ear. Chills ran up and down my back. Oh, who could that be? My mind immediately thinking of Hunter and his mischievous ways. As I slowly opened my eyes and smiled, I came to focus and realized it was the one and only...Avery. 

"Mornin'," I replied. He shot me a puzzled face and looked around at  the others, Kacey and Hunter. They all laughed. I finally woke up after a long nap. "What?" I questioned with quite a raspy voice, if I had to say so myself. 

"It's around seven, babe," Avery answered My eyes widen. Babe. That sounded so good. In my mind, I giggled like a cute little, popular girl who thought boys were JUST cute. "The sun is setting now."

I frowned, "But I thought you said the sun shines when I'm smiling? I was smiling. What happened to the sun then?" I was so stupid. The sun had set by now. I was just being rhetorical. 

He chuckled, "Let's go find out!" He pulled me up off the couch and drug me outside in my backyard.

He pointed to where the sun was setting. I smiled. It was beautiful. I loved everything about the sun setting. It was amazing. Our world was spinning at that very moment as the sun set, and we didn't even realize it. Everything fasinated me about how the Earth moved and the millions of stars in the sky. That some people had stars named after them. The thought of it drove me wild. I wanted that to happen to me. I would eventually end up in a relationship, but I wanted that guy to name a star after me. Symbolizing that our relationship was going to last. 

I couldn't help but stare endlessly at the sunset. I was in awe at how amazing it was. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I got a wiff of Avery's Axe cologne and coughed a little. We all laughed softly. A half small grew on my face. I slowly leaned into Avery and leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer. My eyes flutted closed and opened again as I realized I was slowly falling asleep. But I stood there in his arms, trying my hardest to keep my eyes open. I didn't want this moment to end, because it felt real. Like was how it actually felt being in a relationship...again. 

Trevor and I goofed off and spent most Saturday nights watching fire burn in the fire pit he had. We were close. And poof. That all ended within a few short minutes. I really felt like I would never be able to find love again. This was where love was at. Home. I didn't need some boy to please me or make me feel good about myself. I didn't need him to tell me how beautiful I was or how gorgeous I looked when the sun shone into my eyes or any of that cheesy stuff. It was all too cliché. Cliché needed to stay in the movies, not in my life. 

I wanted to have a completely trustworthy relationship with someone, but not yet. I wasn't ready for love. I knew I wasn't. But every chance, I got searched and searched, hopping from one boy to the next. I felt really bad about myself. I was using them and I felt horrible. I didn't need some lowlife chick to tell me how horrible I am...or how much of a slut I was. Was it peer pressure or curiosity that got the best of me? Some days I couldn't stop thinking of that question. A lot of questions ran through my mind. 

Everyone was hooking up with someone and i felt like I had to. Trevor wasn't mine anymore. When I was alone before him, I was completely fine being alone, unloved, and just having a few friends. I didn't need a thousand guys lining up to be with me or getting in line to be with one guy. That wasn't love. I didn't need it now. I was fine. I was content and happy. I had friends and family that were just always there for me. And I had a good feeling they always would be. At least, I thought.

I needed a good night's sleep after a long day or running around. Everyone did. Especially Kacey and I who ran away from the boys most of the time.