turned - muke - the distortion trilogy 2

2.3

MICHAEL'S P.O.V.

"Hi, Michael," Dr. Lancaster says, smiling cautiously. I smile in return.

She's afraid she'll say something that will upset you. She doesn't want to break you.

"Why is that a bad thing?"

She thinks you're weak.

"Is Gordon here?" Dr. Lancaster asks me, eyebrows furrowed.

Instead of answering her question, I blurt out, "Do you think I'm weak?"

She looks taken back, shaking her head immediately. "No, of course not. You're one of the strongest people I've ever gotten the pleasure of working with," she assures me. "Why would you think that?"

I shrug, eyes trained on the floor.

"Was it because Gordon told you that?" She hits the nail right on the head. Hesitantly, I nod.

Dr. Lancaster sighs. "That's kind of convenient, considering what we're going to talk about today."

I frown curiously. "W-What are we t-talking about?"

"Abusive friendships."

"It's not abusive," I say immediately, defending Gordon instinctively, just like he's always taught me to do.

"I'm not making an accusation," Dr. Lancaster assures me. "I just want to talk about the concept."

She's lying.

"O-Okay..."

"Michael, do you know the signs of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships?" Dr. Lancaster asks me.

"N-No," I reply, beginning to pick at the threads on my t-shirt.

"Some very common ones include constantly putting you down--"

What? Like saying that you're fat and ugly?

"--blaming their own faults on you--"

Like when you tried to kill yourself?

"--and frequently using 'if you don't blank, I will blank' statements."

Like saying if you don't shut the f uck up I'll try to kill someone again?

"Do any of those sound applicable to you and Gordon?" Dr. Lancaster asks me cautiously.

An uncomfortable feeling settles in my stomach as I realize that yes, they do. But I can't tell her that, can I?

No, no f ucking way.

"Michael?" Dr. Lancaster asks softly. "I need you to focus on me, don't listen to him right now. This is a two-way conversation."

I scrunch my eyes closed, trying to figure out what to say.

"Do any of these sound applicable to you and Gordon?" Dr. Lancaster repeats firmly.

Michael, don't you dare--

"Yes," I breathe out, beginning to shake.

"Michael--"

-

"Shut up!" I begged. I covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the insults, but the effort was in vain. The screaming was coming from inside my head.

It was all your fault, you disappointed Uncle Steven, and you disappoint me.

"Who are you?" I sobbed. "Why do you hate me?"