Sayang,
This is a letter of apology from me to you. I know you won't be able to receive this letter or even read it. It is a secret I need to hold.
Three years has past now. We have been here at the same spot with nothing ever changes. We rarely met (which i don't seem to mind at all lately), we rarely text (which i am okay with it), and we rarely talk on the phone (which again, i am fine with it).
I can't say goodbye, even goodbye feels hollow. I don't want to say goodbye. I am afraid. I am afraid of the idea that no one will ever be there for me like the way you do. I know this is selfish but I just can't help myself from thinking this way.
Maybe, this is the idea where we accept the love we think we deserve comes in. Maybe you are the one for me. Maybe, you are not. Maybe I really love you. Maybe, I don't. I am calculating of all the possibilities and I see myself hanging.
I am rotten,
and you know why.
Your beloved,
Sara
